Thirty-five years ago I said goodbye to my family and stepped into the Missionary Training Center in Provo to begin a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I was confident but nervous. Ready on the outside, but totally terrified where it counts.
I had a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, but it was greener than a lime.
I was Brazil bound — Belo Horizonte, to be exact. I had two suitcases, crisp clothes and a new set of scriptures.
What I didn’t have, and desperately wanted, was a letter from my father. He’d been gone three years, and though my siblings filled in beautifully, I still longed for a final pep talk from the man who taught me that it was fine to look up to him, but even better to look all the way up to Him with a capital H.
That was July of 1990.
Ten years ago this summer, my oldest daughter, Oakli, said goodbye and entered that same Missionary Training Center.
She was also Brazil bound — Florianopolis, to be exact. She had everything she needed for her 18 months of service, including one thing I didn’t — a letter from her dad. My daughter wrote a reply to my letter when she returned home.
Just two weeks ago, my youngest, Koleson, said goodbye and entered that same Missionary Training Center.
He’s headed to the other side of the Pacific Ocean — Thailand, to be exact. And, like his sister a decade ago, he’s taking a letter from me.
With his permission, I share an excerpt. Perhaps it will once again spark inspiration for other families going through this sacred season:
Dear Koleson, guess what? A mission isn’t for you, either.
It’s here! Can you believe it? Yesterday you were wearing a hospital baby bracelet, today you’re wearing a name tag.
As you leave, I follow a tradition probably as old as the church itself. (Did Christ’s original apostles get a letter on scrolls from their mom or dad? Probably.)
I am so excited for what’s ahead. I’ve said this before, and I mean it. I would put a tag back on and go into the field without a second thought. It was the greatest, most consistently happy, spiritual time of my life.
Please, please, please embrace every single day.
You’ll never get this time back. You’ll never be in the Missionary Training Center again. You’ll never be with your companion, your district, or your teachers again. These experiences cannot be duplicated.
You’ll never again be a young missionary in the Thailand Bangkok West Mission. You’ll never be on that one street corner again standing next to that one person who just might be ready for the gospel. Talk to everyone. Invite everyone. Serve everyone.
Look for opportunities every single day to serve your companions. Iron their shirts. Shine their shoes. Wash their dishes. It doesn’t matter. I promise it’s the key to a better and more unified companionship.
This works for members, too! Serve them. Dedicate time to serving your bishops and branch presidents, their families, your other leaders, your new members. Ask, “Who can we serve today?” The answers will surprise you.
Develop your gift of peacemaking. Seek opportunities to build bridges between missionaries who might not get along.
Do not gossip — ever. Every single missionary, member, leader, and friend deserves grace. Be the hopeful, optimistic elder people want to be around because you rave about everyone and everything. Be the missionary who thinks every other missionary, elder and sister, is the best of the best.
Avoid youthful drama at all costs. When someone comes to you with issues about someone else, or a conflict, or complaints, tell them you love them but you think they should work it out privately. Tell them your goal is to “be Switzerland.” A friend to all.
Make your personal brand relentless optimism and unreasonable kindness. It will become one of your greatest assets.
One of the things I always teach missionaries is that just because they put on a name tag does not mean that they should not bring themselves to the mission. The Lord needs your unique personality and talents in the mission field. Missionaries throughout history — since the beginning of this church — have brought their own temporal and spiritual gifts to the work.
Don’t be a robot who simply memorizes lessons and answers. Learn to teach by the spirit and have the faith to let your tongue be loosened, even when you don’t know what’s going to come out.
I wish I could promise you won’t miss home, Taco Bell, pingpong and our inside jokes.
Actually, no. No, I don’t.
Missing those things means they mattered to you. When you’re homesick for family or comforts of home, don’t fight it. Enjoy those feelings because it’s a reminder of how much you love your life.
The single, most important common denominator of happy successful missionaries who fulfilled their purpose is obedience. It is demonstrably and indisputably true that obedient missionaries are happier and more successful in the work. They have better companionship experiences, and they’re far more unified with the members.
Obedience is directly correlated to love. The more you love the Lord, your companion, and your mission president, the more obedient you will be. And the more obedient you are, the more successful you’ll become as a missionary.
I hope you know I am enormously, endlessly proud of who you are, who you’ve become, and the even greater disciple you’ll be in two years.
I know the Lord loves you, knows you, is ready to work miracles through your hands, and will be by your side as you obediently serve.
This is his gospel you are sharing. The name on your tag at the bottom is the one that matters most. What a joy and honor that you get to take this message to the wonderful people of Thailand.
I love you, Son.
With love, respect and prayers,
Dad