Utah Gov. Spencer Cox told a news conference Friday that the murder Wednesday of political activist Charlie Kirk on the campus of Utah Valley University “is a watershed in American history.”
He added that the question was what sort of watershed it would be.
“Do we escalate or do we find an off-ramp?” he asked. “It’s a choice.”
Indeed, it is. The future direction of any nation is set in motion by millions of individual choices daily. The future really is up to you.
That said, the United States seems to have had a lot of watershed moments like this in recent years, from the attempted assassinations of Donald Trump to the killing of a Democratic Minnesota state representative and her husband, to mass shootings too numerous to mention.
Always, the answer seems to be escalation, not off-ramps.
How can we change that this time?
‘Social media is a cancer’
Certainly, Kirk’s murder seems to have risen in the public’s collective consciousness because it was an attack on the bedrock American value of free speech and free political participation. The deadly bullet was aimed at more than just one voice. It was aimed at the nation. But the same could be said of many recent attacks against politicians.
What could make the reaction to this moment different?
Cox suggested a rejection of the internet in favor of more time with family. “Social media is a cancer on our society right now,” the governor said.
Nelson Mandela’s example
And there are other, additional ways to effectively change hearts and minds. Former South African President Nelson Mandela could serve as a worthy exemplar.
In his book “A Long Walk to Freedom,” Mandela wrote, “If you want to make peace with an enemy, one must work with that enemy and that enemy becomes your partner.”
In other words, it requires actually reaching out to adversaries, political or otherwise, and forging relationships, or even friendships.
It could begin with a simple meal — say, a lunch.
After assuming leadership in South Africa, Mandela hosted a lunch and invited former enemies — the wives and widows of both apartheid and anti-apartheid leaders. This was a symbolic launch of a reconciliation and forgiveness effort that spared the nation an endless road of violent retaliations.
Forgiveness and understanding
His Truth and Reconciliation Commission allowed the aggrieved and the perpetrators to come clean, to listen, to reconcile and to, one hopes, forgive. This remarkable transition came after years of murderous and vengeful confrontations between white South Africans who wanted to preserve apartheid — or government-sanctioned discrimination — and those who wanted to destroy it.
Critics would argue that this effort was not entirely successful, but it surely spared many lives and quelled a spirit of revenge that could have spiraled the nation into chaos.
The need for dialogue and understanding is undeniable.
Earlier this year, the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science published two studies examining how many Americans have friends who hold opposite political views.
One, studying friends in New York and Boston, was slanted more toward liberal Democrats and found only 3% had friendship across party lines.
The second group was surveyed online and offered more balance. It found that 8% of those surveyed had friendships with people of the opposite party.
The nation will never end the escalation of violence with its people isolated in silos or echo chambers.
Yes, this solution sounds more simple than it is. Reaching out can be uncomfortable, or even scary. Forgiveness and understanding require soft hearts, the very opposite of the emotions that result from political surety.
But off-ramps aren’t found in places where people yell past each other. They are negotiated through civic dialogue and respect.
The world is brewing with many external, international threats. The United States cannot secure freedom for the world if its own people are politically divided and mired in violence. The watershed moment for outreach and discovering common ground is now.
