The recent NBC televised discussion between Utah Gov. Spencer Cox and Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro wasn’t the first attempt to bridge the political civility gap on television.

A few years ago, then-Sen. Jeff Flake of Arizona, a Republican, invited Democrat Sen. Martin Heinrich of New Mexico to a deserted island, where they had to spear fish in order to survive.

They brought a Discovery Channel crew with them and named the show “Rival Survival.” It wasn’t great TV.

As Flake said in a talk at the Harvard Kennedy School, the show’s best moment came when Stephen Colbert aired a clip and said, “Flake and Heinrich proved once and for all Republicans and Democrats can get along when death is the only option.”

Cox and Shapiro were serious and thoughtful as they sat with “Today” co-anchor Savannah Guthrie in the National Cathedral in Washington and talked about mutual respect and faith traditions, among other things.

Disruptors

Notably, however, their discussion was marred several times by people yelling in an apparent effort to disrupt the event. The acoustics were such that it was impossible to discern what they were saying. But the disruptions added a touch of irony to the need for greater dialogue and understanding.

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Are we really a nation of screamers?

Or are we that way only under circumstances where politics is at stake?

If so, that doesn’t bode well, given that politics is so vital to any republic.

During the event, Cox and Guthrie referred to surveys that demonstrate what’s known as a perception gap. This is when people who identify as a member of one party tend to badly misjudge the political positions of people who belong to a rival party.

Moderator Savannah Guthrie of NBC, left, and Utah Gov. Spencer Cox, right, listen to Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro during a conversation on the state of our politics today at the National Cathedral, Tuesday, Dec. 9, 2025, in Washington, D.C. | John McDonnell for the Deseret N

Misjudging each other

A study by the non-profit group More in Common, with polling by Yougov, found that Republicans and Democrats estimated that 55% of each other’s party members hold extreme views. In reality, 30% do.

For example, Democrats polled estimated that less than 50% of Republicans would agree with the statement “Properly controlled immigration can be good for America.” In reality, 33% more Republicans agreed to that than Democrats estimated.

Republicans, meanwhile, were 37% off when estimating how many Democrats would disagree with the statement “Most police are bad people.”

Ironically, the survey found that the group most consistently correct in evaluating the positions of both sides were those defined as “politically disengaged.”

Apathy or hyper-partisanship?

Not too many years ago, I remember writing about the national disgrace of low voter turnout. States were coming up with new ideas such as registering people to vote at the DMV. Apathy reigned and elections seemed uneventful.

But now, as the Pew Research Center reports, “The 66% turnout rate in 2020 was the highest since 1908, and 2024’s rate of 64% was the second highest, tied with 1960.”

So, which is best, an apathetic electorate that is peaceful and unengaged, or a hyper-partisan one that votes as if a ballot is a weapon and complains in ignorance about election fraud?

Can there be a third way — an educated electorate that demands accountability but is immune to partisan rhetoric?

As it is, we don’t seem to be getting any closer to understanding each other. Julia Dhar of the Boston Consulting Group has said, “Contempt has replaced conversation.” People are scared of getting into an argument, so they just don’t communicate at all.

She advocates for learning and cultivating the skills of engagement and the skill of intellectual humility, which is the realization that you could be wrong.

Doing so may require making friends, or as Abraham Lincoln was alleged to have said, “... Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”

It all sounds wonderful but beyond the reach of many partisans who just aren’t interested in being wrong.

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Comments

I don’t know whether forums such as the discussion between Cox and Shapiro will move the needle on contempt and political violence to something more civil, but they are worthwhile.

Moderator Savannah Guthrie of NBC, left, and Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro, right, listen to Utah Gov. Spencer Cox during a conversation on the state of our politics today at the National Cathedral, Tuesday, Dec. 9, 2025, in Washington, D.C. | John McDonnell for the Deseret N

Is politics a religion?

Cox may have offered the best line of the day when, in his closing statement, he said, “We can’t make politics our religion.”

“Too many people have left religion and tried to replace that God-shaped hole in every heart with politics, and it will not work.” Politics, he said, can’t be the dominant role in our lives.

Well said, although I wonder how many political rivals would learn to spearfish with each other if it were the only road to survival.

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