Whether it’s a festive family dinner or a party, a holiday celebration is often meant to be a joyful time of connection. However, for many autistic children and their families, a holiday get-together can present unique challenges. Sensory sensitivities, changes to familiar routines, and increased social expectations may make festive environments feel overwhelming or distressing. Recognizing and respecting these differences is key to creating a more inclusive and supportive holiday experience for everyone involved.
As the CEO of Above and Beyond Therapy, where we provide personalized ABA therapy in Utah, I’ve seen firsthand how thoughtfulness, flexibility and inclusion can positively shape holiday gatherings for children with autism and their families. With intentional planning and compassion, traditions and environments can be adapted so every child feels safe, supported and empowered to engage in ways that respect their individual needs and preferences. Here are seven ways to create a sensory-friendly holiday celebration that supports autistic children.
1. Respect and maintain predictable routines
Children with autism often thrive on structure and predictability. A holiday event can disrupt daily routines, such as mealtimes, sleep schedules or familiar activities, which may increase anxiety or emotional dysregulation. To help ease this transition, try to keep as much of the child’s regular routine intact as possible on the day of the event. Using visual schedules, countdowns or social stories can help prepare the child for what to expect. Letting them know when it will start and end and what activities might happen can also reduce uncertainty.
Even small efforts, such as keeping bedtime consistent or eating familiar foods beforehand, can help a child feel more grounded.
2. Create a quiet space for regulation
Holiday celebrations often involve noise, crowds and constant activity. For children with sensory sensitivities, having access to a quiet, calming space is essential. Designate a room or area where the child can take breaks as needed. This space might include soft lighting, noise-canceling headphones, weighted blankets, favorite toys or books. If you’re attending an event outside your home, consider bringing a small sensory kit and asking the host in advance if a quiet space is available.
Allowing a child to step away without judgment helps prevent sensory overload and supports emotional regulation.
3. Be mindful of sensory overload
From bright decorations and loud music to strong scents and lots of movement, a holiday celebration can be filled with intense sensory input. Thoughtfully adjusting the environment can make a significant difference. Opt for soft or adjustable lighting instead of flashing lights, keep music at a lower volume and avoid strong fragrances when possible. Introducing sensory elements gradually and respecting a child’s need to opt out is important.
Offering alternatives, such as quiet crafts, familiar games or one-on-one activities, will also allow children to engage without feeling overwhelmed.
4. Give choices and respect autonomy
Holiday traditions can be meaningful, but they should never override a child’s comfort or sense of control. Giving children choices helps them feel empowered and respected. You might ask, “Would you like to help decorate or take a break nearby?” or “Do you want to stay for the whole get-together or just part of it?” If a child chooses not to participate in certain activities, honor that decision without pressure. Connection and emotional safety matter more than following traditions exactly as planned.
5. Prepare for social interactions
A holiday celebration often includes extended family, friends or unfamiliar guests, which can create added social pressure. Expectations around greetings, conversation or physical affection may feel uncomfortable for children with autism. Preparing ahead of time with social stories or role-playing common scenarios can help set clear expectations. Reassure the child that it’s okay to wave instead of hug, take breaks from conversations or communicate in their own way.
It’s also helpful to inform guests in advance so they understand and respect the child’s boundaries. Authentic connection should always take priority over social norms.
6. Plan food options with sensory needs in mind
Holiday events often center around food, which can be challenging for children with sensory sensitivities or selective eating preferences. Including familiar, preferred foods alongside traditional dishes can help the child feel safe and included. There’s no need to pressure them to try new foods during the celebration. If the event is at someone else’s home, bringing along favorite snacks or a familiar meal can ease stress and make the experience more enjoyable for everyone.
7. Communicate with family and friends
Open communication is essential for creating a supportive holiday event. Talk with family members or hosts ahead of time about your child’s needs, preferences and boundaries. Share what helps them feel comfortable and what may be overwhelming. This isn’t about apologizing; it’s about advocating. Let others know the child may need breaks, may not participate in every activity, or may express joy differently. Encouraging empathy, flexibility and understanding helps create a truly inclusive environment.
Put connection and inclusion at the heart of the celebration
A holiday get-together can be meaningful and joyful for autistic children when their needs are respected and supported. Thoughtful planning, flexibility and clear communication go a long way in creating a positive experience. At its core, a holiday celebration is about connection, not perfection. By prioritizing inclusion and sensory-friendly choices, we help ensure every child feels seen, valued and welcome.