Our elvish sources gave us a peek at some of the requests from Utah’s politicians, leaders and beloved fellow citizens, but whether Santa delivers remains to be seen. Here’s our take on what they might be wishing for:
Gov. Spencer Cox: I have been performing Santa’s work by asking for “peace on earth and good will toward men (and women)” through my civility campaign, Disagree Better. So the big guy owes me. A snowy New Year is a great thank-you gift.
Lt. Gov. Deidre Henderson: All I want for Christmas is for election chaos to subside and to prepare for the election without more map roulette.
State Auditor Tina Cannon: Dear Santa, I’d like some moving boxes, packing peanuts and a good view from my new office outside the Capitol building.
Utah MAGA: We are not fond of Santa. Santa defies border security and enters this country illegally. His elves take jobs that Americans should have (i.e. making toys, fashioning candy canes). Santa, ICE is waiting for you!
Utah progressives: Santa is not woke. He commits outrageous cultural appropriation toward vertically challenged nonunion workers. He’s cruel to his transport animals, demanding delivery to millions of destinations in one night, which should not be celebrated by any beloved children’s songs.
U.S. Sen. Mike Lee: Santa troubles me. This whole concept of intruding into people’s lives to determine who is naughty or nice is galling. However, I could use his help to garner support for my efforts to eliminate the lazy filibuster.
U.S. Sen. John Curtis: I, too, want a good snowfall. However, Christmas came early for me because the warm December is dampening those critics who usually condemn my conservative climate efforts.
Gavin Newsom and Zohran Mamdani: Please let Trump’s approval rating continue to fall, don’t let JD Vance get too popular, keep the economy sluggish, and send a plan to unite and invigorate the Democratic base — is that too much to ask for?
Utah Jazz Fans: Santa really disappointed us this year with no playoff chances. Bah Humbug to him and the entire NBA!
Utah Mammoth Fans: Well, at least we are playing better than the Jazz, so we hope Santa delivers us a playoff berth.
All Utahns: Santa, please make sure the temple is completed this year. We miss the Christmas light displays, and all that scaffolding is getting tiresome. And snow. Lots of snow.
Former House Speaker and Olympic Chairman Brad Wilson: Please, Santa, send me a new logo.
Reps. Blake Moore, Celeste Maloy, Mike Kennedy and Burgess Owens: Please deliver to one of us the wisdom and compassion to not run for reelection so that the decks are cleared for the rest of us. Or bring three long straws and one short one to help us decide.
Democratic congressional candidates (State Sen. Nate Blouin, Sen. Kathleen Riebe, former Rep. Ben McAdams, former State Sen. Derek Kitchen and Salt Lake City Councilwoman Eva Lopez): May voters only see our pride parade participation, Juneteenth Facebook posts and the EVs parked in our driveways and forget about that one time we said “Happy Columbus Day” rather than “Happy Indigenous Peoples’ Day.”
Utah Democratic Party Chair Brian King: Santa came early with the bluest congressional district imaginable. What more could I ask for?
Utah Republican Party Chair Rob Axson: Santa, please send elves to gather signatures for the repeal of Proposition 4 Initiative. And maybe keep delaying snow — at least until February, when we turn in our signature packets.
Senate President Stuart Adams: I will have two Democratic congressional candidates in the Senate during the legislative session. Please deliver comfortable but firm muzzles to prevent too much speechifying.
House Speaker Mike Schultz: Congressional maps not drawn by liberal organizations, a speedy and favorable ruling from the Supreme Court, and national Democratic groups to spend their money elsewhere, sparing my caucus from tougher reelections.
Emily Buss (newly elected Utah Forward Party State Senator replacing Daniel Thatcher): Santa, please bring me an instruction book on how to run a caucus of one or an invitation to caucus with either the Republicans or Democrats.
University of Utah President Taylor Randall: Santa, please remind Utahns they admire innovation and want to compete against those big Eastern colleges. These emotions will secure support for our transfer of college athletics to a private nonprofit.
BYU fans: Santa, please deliver a win in the upcoming bowl game. We need the victory to recruit bigger donations to compete with the Utes and their newfangled source of funding.
The Utah judiciary: A peaceful legislative session with minimal discussions about the balance of power between branches of government.
Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenhall: Santa, please extend this season of caring through the legislative session when lawmakers deliberate homelessness funding.
Frugal Salt Lake County voters: A successful tax referendum.
Salt Lake County Mayor Jenny Wilson: An unsuccessful tax referendum.
Renae Cowley: Please bring lots of snow to fill the reservoirs so I have green pastures to feed all the colts I am expecting this spring. I may have overcommitted a bit this breeding season.
Frank Pignanelli: I too wish for lots of snow … but in the mountains. Nothing is endearing about shoveling all that frozen precipitation.