On Saturday, former U.S. Women’s National Team star Carli Lloyd was inducted into the National Soccer Hall of Fame alongside former USMNT players Chris Armas and Nick Rimando, former USWNT goalkeeper Mary Harvey and former MLS deputy commissioner Mark Abbott.
Lloyd is considered one of the all-time best American soccer players, and has two Olympic gold medals and two World Cup titles, among other accolades, according to the National Soccer Hall of Fame’s website.
But during Saturday’s ceremony, Lloyd didn’t talk about the awards she received or the goals she scored.
Instead, she apologized for what her relentless pursuit of winning cost her and her teammates.
The cost of winning
“What I wanted to share wasn’t from a perspective of a competitor, but as a person, a human being and what I kept going back to again and again was one simple question: Was it all worth it?” Lloyd said on Saturday, according to Pro Soccer Wire.
The now 42-year-old has been wondering if she should have made as many sacrifices as she did during her career.
“I wasn’t there to make friends or follow the crowd. I was there to push myself to the very top while helping my team win championships. That drive often meant keeping people at a distance,” Lloyd said, according to The Athletic.
She continued: “I operated like an emotionless machine. I was intense and I truly believed that the only way for me to survive in such a cutthroat environment was to be that way. So to my teammates, I want to say this: I‘m sorry I wasn’t able to give you all of me.”
And Lloyd’s apologies didn’t stop there.
In her speech, she also expressed her sincere apologies to her siblings and parents, saying that she was sorry for the years they lost together. She said she knows she can’t get those years back, but added that what they have done since has been “the most meaningful gift” to her, The Inquirer reported.
Before her first Olympics in 2008, Lloyd experienced “a painful separation” from her parents, Steve and Pam, due to the actions of a trainer. The separation left wounds that weren’t mended until 2020, during the pandemic, the article said.
Despite the sacrifices she made and the challenges she faced, Lloyd said on Saturday that she has no regrets about her decorated career.
“As lonely and difficult as the journey was at times, I would do it all over again,” she said, according to Pro Soccer Wire. “There was nothing I loved more than winning, but winning comes at a cost and I paid that price. Yet in return I gained more than I ever could have imagined.”
But she noted that she does have one wish.
“I wouldn’t say I have regrets, but if there is one thing I do wish, I wish I had let more people understand me over the years,” Lloyd said, per The Athletic.
A future off the pitch
Among the audience members on Saturday was Lloyd’s 6-month-old daughter, Harper, whom Lloyd described as her “greatest accomplishment” after struggling with unexplained infertility, according to The Athletic.
“I always knew I wanted a child, but I had no idea how this little baby completely changed me as a person,” she said, per the Inquirer. “I have allowed myself to be vulnerable, emotional, and fully engaged in every moment I get to spend with her. Being her mom is my greatest joy.”
Lloyd said her soccer career gave her the tools to teach Harper “how to be strong, to chase her dreams and to understand that nothing in life is handed to you, you earn it,” reported The Athletic.
She told the young players who still look up to her to appreciate the journey and embrace challenges that come. She also expressed the hope that they might strive to do one thing that she didn’t, the Inquirer reported.
“Cherish the relationships you build along the way,” she said. “This game will eventually end, but the impact you have on those around you and the lessons you carry with you will last a lifetime.”