Survivors of domestic violence, their advocates, Utah lawmakers and the public came together Tuesday for the second annual “Dear Utah” rally, in a show against domestic violence.
“We want those who have experienced violence or are currently in a violent relationship to know that they are not alone, that the violence they are experiencing is not their fault, and that we, all of us here, are here to believe and support you,” said Brooke Muir, executive director of Fight Against Domestic Violence.
“Dear Utah” was launched last year by Fight Against Domestic Violence in partnership with the Utah Domestic Violence Coalition and A Boulder Way Forward. The campaign focused on collecting stories from survivors who have been affected by domestic violence.
Tuesday’s event, organized by the Fight Against Domestic Violence and its partners, aimed to honor survivors, raise awareness and call for continued action to combat domestic violence across the state of Utah.
Jennifer Andrus, a professor of rhetoric at the University of Utah, has spent years interviewing survivors of domestic violence.
“Victimhood is balanced with survivorship after they leave their abusers,” she said. “People are striving to survive while coping with the remaining remnants of memories of victimhood.”
A domestic-violence survivor herself, Andrus has been a champion in collecting and sharing stories of other survivors.
“I share the knowledge about surviving an abusive relationship with women and men that I have interviewed. I, too, remember reflecting on what marriage meant, how divorce would impact my children, reflecting on violence and if the way my now ex-husband treated me amounted to domestic violence,” she said. “I remember hoping he would change, begging him to get therapy. I didn’t want to get a divorce. I remember the social pressure to stay married, the pressure to have all of my children with the same man, and so I stayed. I worried, I reasoned. I thought, I planned, I hoped, I looked so hard for a way out.”
When Andrus finally found the strength and courage to tell her now ex-husband she wanted a divorce, she said it took four hours of being held hostage — and four gunshot wounds, including one in her head, resulting in her losing an eye — for it to end.
“Survival is not defined by leaving alone, but the inner work of reclaiming one’s voice, one’s safety and one’s sense of self,” she said.
Others at Tuesday’s event spoke about how domestic violence does not only impact women.
“One in three women in Utah will experience some form of abuse in their lifetime. Domestic violence doesn’t just affect women. It impacts men, children, families and entire communities,” said Katie Hansen, retail area manager of Altabank in Cache Valley.
Jillian Penhale, executive director at the Dove Center, and Kendra Wyckoff, executive director at Peace House, reported a steady increase in demand for services.
“In the past three years at the Dove Center, we’ve seen a 2% increase each year in survivors needing support,” Penhale noted, underscoring the growing need for resources and long-term funding. She said the leading cause of homicide in Utah between July 2023 and January this year is domestic and criminal violence.
Tanner Jensen, a director at the Department of Public Safety, spoke about the critical role law enforcement plays in combating domestic violence in Utah. He said law enforcement responds to over 11,000 cases each year.
“We know that when officers respond to these cases, 63% of the time, they’re dealing with a survivor that is in a potentially lethal situation,” Jensen said. “We know based off of the information that with those 62% of those cases, the victim feels that they’re being controlled. We know that 42% believe that they are being spied, trapped and followed by the aggressor.”
Jensen said 30% of the time, survivors “feel like their life is in danger and they are going to be killed.”
“We know that 38% of the time, these individuals have experienced choking or strangulation with their significant other,” he continued. “Also, we know that 34% of the time these individuals have said that the aggressor has access to or owns a firearm, and they’re scared about that. These are terrible numbers, but they’re not just numbers. These are individuals that law enforcement and everybody else care about deeply.”
Sen. Chris Wilson, R-Salt Lake City, talked about what lawmakers are doing about it. One particular bill on the table this year would increase penalties for sexual offenses committed against incapacitated people.
“Our courts, law enforcement agencies and legislative efforts all play a critical role in protecting survivors and holding offenders accountable,” he said.
“When these systems work hand in hand, they form the backbone of a safer Utah.”
