Sam Kastanis, who was jailed for three days as the suspect in the fatal stabbing of his wife and three children, led mourners Friday to the cemetery after the victims' funeral.
Hundreds of friends and relatives filled the LDS Crescent South Stake Center, 251 E. 10600 South, for the funeral of Margaret Jenkins Kastanis, 39; Melissa Kastanis, 11; Clinton Kastanis, 9; and Christine Kastanis, 6. They died Nov. 17 at their home in West Jordan in a brutal stabbing spree.Sam Kastanis sat in the first row of the chapel during the funeral. Afterward, he walked close behind the honorary pallbearers as the last of the four caskets left the stake center. He wiped tears from his eyes with a handkerchief. A man whom a friend identified as Orren L. Jenkins, his father-in-law, held his arm.At the graveside service that followed, the 43-year-old Kastanis was extremely emotional, hugging relatives and crying.
Margaret Kastanis was eulogized as a piano-player, talented poet, loving mother and Cub Scout
leader, a woman who would sometimes stay up all night to clean house or write a song. The children were described as energetic and playful.
Examples of her writing were sprinkled throughout the service.
Kali Dent, a friend, sang a song Margaret Kastanis wrote for a child's funeral. It used the image of a boat at sea as a metaphor for one's journey through life: "Someday I'll set sail for another port, a harbor from the storm-tossed. I'll surrender my vessel in that great port, but my spirit won't be lost."
The song also spoke of other family members, saying her soul would wait "for us to gather once again and walk through heaven's door."
"I'm sure you felt, as I did, just a blanket of peace settle on this room" with the singing of her song, said Stake President Marlin Fairbourn.
"Since we can't control circumstances, we need to work together," he said. The deaths brought about more intense feelings than other events, he said.
"You know, I can't propose to answer the unanswered questions today," he said. But it is time to start healing, he said. "There's been enough deep, deep remorse."
He told stories of Margaret Kastanis' life, including the time a dove in a cage laid an egg during a wedding and she giggled until her sides hurt.
"She was comfortable to be around, and wherever she was there'd be laughter." He then read a poem that she wrote for his brother.
According to Fairbourn, one of the Kastanis family's young relatives had a dream two days after the stabbings. "He said, `I've seen them all, they're OK, they're happy.' "
When Clint Kastanis visited his grandparents, "he'd run in and get his satchel full of toy cars, head for the couch, and he'd be out on his freeway." He loved Star Trek, "and he would eat any cookie in the house," Fairbourn said.
Once Christine, or "Chrissy," was bouncing around in front of the television, dancing to music, oblivious to others in the room. She grew embarrassed when she saw people were watching her, he said.
After several such stories, Fairbourn said, "That's the impact that great lady carried. That's the sweetness these three children shared."
Speaking of love within the family, he said, "That's a bit of heaven here on Earth. . . . We came to this Earth to experience sorrow and joy." He added that the family had its share of both emotions, "but that's part of the plan."
Fairbourn quoted the words of Jesus on the cross, "Father, forgive them," and added, "the impact of these words are not shallow, and they have meaning."
The only difference between dying young and dying old is how soon a person goes to the eternal realm, Fairbourn said. "These young innocents go to a place called Paradise."
There, he said, they would have "no pain, no sickness, no Epstein-Barr." Margaret Kastanis suffered from a disease caused by the Epstein-Barr virus, which slowed her and affected her immune system.
"Now, family and friends, it's a time of healing, it's a time of understanding," Fairbourn said.
Virginia Schmidt read other poems written by Margaret Kastanis. In one she talked about watching beautiful sunsets. "For fear of missing a moment I dare not even blink," the poem read.
"She was really sensitive to other people's feelings," said Bishop Steve Brown of the Heritage 6th Ward. She would write notes and poems to people she knew.
"In the eternal scheme of things, His (God's) love . . . will overcome absolutely any evil that will come upon us," said Bishop Noal Hardcastle of the Crescent 30th Ward.