IF YOU HAD attended Christie's art auction in May 1990 and had $85 million to spend, you could have bought van Gogh's "Portrait of Doctor Gachet." But since you weren't there, a Japanese buyer bought it for $82.5 million.

Or if you had been at another auction in 1987 and willing to dish out $55 million, you could now be the proud owner of van Gogh's "Irises." But since you weren't there, another buyer walked away with it after paying only $53.9 million.But most people don't have that kind of money. Consequently, some devise ingenious ways to walk away with priceless art works without paying. At least, that's their plan.

On April 14, 1991, two armed robbers stole 20 paintings by Vincent van Gogh from a museum in the Netherlands. Included in this heist were "The Potato Eaters," "Still Life With Sunflowers" and "Still Life With Irises." These and the other 17 paintings were worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

Fortunately, the paintings were found in an abandoned car just hours after they were stolen.

Unfortunately, three of the paintings had been badly damaged when they were stuffed into bags used by the bandits. The damaged works were "Still Life with Bible," "Still Life With Lemons, Pears and Grapes" and "Wheatfield with Crows."

The Vincent van Gogh National Museum is government-operated and its art holdings are not insured because of the astronomical expense to insure this priceless art heritage.

On July 18, four Dutchmen were arrested in connection with the theft. One of them was a security guard at the museum; another, a former guard. The other two who initially planned the theft had promised the security men $500,000 for their help.

FBI officials noted some similarities between this theft and the one at the Gardner Museum in Boston last year. On March 18, 1990, thieves dressed as police officers talked two museum guards into opening the museum at 3 a.m. They then stole 13 paintings, including some by Rembrandt, Degas, Vermeer and Manet. These paintings have never been recovered.

In the same month as the van Gogh heist, two thieves turned off the alarm and entered the office of Ray Ramsey, a luxury car dealer in Monterey, California. They cut two paintings from their frames - "The Mourning Madonna with Mary" by Sir Anthony Van Dyck and "Guardian Angel" by Bartolome Esteban Murillo. The first painting is valued at $2 million; the second, $7 million. The paintings have not been recovered.

A week later, in another part of the world, thieves broke a glass door of the Czechoslovak National Gallery, entered and stole four paintings by Picasso - "Absinth and Card," "Mandolin and a Glass of Pernod," "Table with a Chalice" and "The Port of Cade-ques." Estimated worth? $30 million.

The gallery was equipped with a sophisticated alarm system. But by the time police arrived 17 minutes later, the thieves had fled the scene.

Police detective and art theft specialist Igor Kuchar said that well-organized international gangs have become increasingly successful in Czechoslovakia since the Communists were ousted in 1989. He said it's much easier for criminals to travel, and inadequate police forces are finding it hard to cope.

The last major theft of Picasso's work occurred Nov. 5, 1989, when seven of his paintings were stolen from the home of the artist's granddaughter, Marina Picasso. Value? $17 million.SOME ART TREASURES that have vanished over the years have resurfaced. One of them is "Il Vero Riscatto" ("The True Redemption"), a painting by Michelangelo. It disappeared from an Italian monastery when French troops ransacked and burned the building in 1780. A Swiss family acquired it that same year without knowing what they had bought. The painting changed owners several times before someone recognized it as being an authentic Michelangelo.

Claude Monet's "Impression, Sunrise" the painting that lent its name to the Impressionist movement, was recovered Dec. 5, 1990, by French police in Porto Vecchio, Corsica - more than five years after it had been stolen from the Marmottan Museum in Paris.

Although it had been shut up in a cubbyhole for five years, the painting suffered no damage. In fact, it's now in better condition than before it was stolen, since experts have removed a yellowed varnish that was applied to it by the husband of the painter's second wife, Alice.

A painting by Flemish master Peter Paul Rubens that disappeared from a Spanish museum on Sept. 16, 1985, was recovered in May of this year in an undercover sting operation in Miami. Arrested were four local residents attempting to sell the painting for $3.5 million.

The diminutive 5-inch-by-8-inch painting, "Dawn," was painted in 1636. It shows a young woman in flowing white and garnet robes sitting on a cloud.

Two chunks of paint were missing - one from the lower left corner and another in the upper right. Apparently the chunks were removed to have the paint authenticated.

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Fourteen years ago, an unsigned painting titled "La Dolorosa," or "Our Lady of Sorrows," was stolen from the Mission San Gabriel outside Los Angeles. However, the mission never lost hope the painting would be found.

When William Witherell of San Gabriel was sentenced last November for stealing two valuable 18th-century books by Benjamin Franklin, police searched his home and discovered "La Dolorosa" among other valuable paintings and books.

Although there is no record of who painted it, "La Dolorosa" is considered priceless. According to legend, the painting accompanied two Franciscan missionaries on their 1770 journey from San Diego to San Gabriel. When they arrived at the site of their mission, the priests were attacked by Indians. The missionaries pulled out the painting of a blue-veiled Virgin Mary clasping her hands in grief at the death of her son. The beauty and serenity of the painting immediately quiet-ed the Indians. The priests determined at that moment that the Mission San Gabriel had been given a miracle upon which to build.

Likewise, art collectors, museums and art lovers throughout the world hope and pray that by some miracle, many other stolen art treasures will be recovered and will once again grace the walls where they belong.

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