How many horror movies start off with a quote from Nietzsche?
For that matter, how many end with a montage of the grisliest scenes from earlier films.
Those are just two of the ridiculous elements of "Freddy's Dead" - and, assuming the statement is true, it's none too soon for me.
Not that it matters, since "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare," the sixth and supposedly last in the "Nightmare on Elm Street" series, makes little, if any sense. There's no narrative drive, no logical plot turns and the much touted celebrity guest stars - Rose-anne Barr Arnold, Tom Arnold, Alice Cooper and Johnny Depp - have virtually nothing to do.
The nominal story is set some 10 years in the future when the children of Springwood, Ohio, have been nearly wiped out by Freddy Krueger, the friendly neighborhood child molester who was burned to death by victims' parents. Somehow he became a scarred slasher with a finger-blade glove, given to invading the dreams of teenagers, taunting them with their fears and making wisecracks before dispatching them in some gory fashion.
The lone Springwood survivor is plagued with the usual nightmares that have Freddy tormenting him, playing on his fear of heights.
Eventually, he lands in a home for troubled kids where he meets other soon-to-be-dead teens and two caring therapists - Yaphet Kotto, who just happens to be doing unorthodox dream research, and Lisa Zane, who has a secret even she doesn't know, but which you will guess immediately.
As an added gimmick, the climax is in "Freddy Vision," a very weak 3-D process, which allows for cardboard glasses (which bear advertisements).
The non-3-D special effects throughout the film are pretty good, but the level of acting, along with such technical aspects as lighting and editing, are awful.
The film's biggest flaw is that it is merely the same old garbage - gory killings accompanied by Freddy's lame jokes. As he cuts off the ear of a deaf boy, he says, "Lend me your ear," etc.
We do learn a bit more about Freddy - he's shown as a child and as a parent - but there's no character development, of course.
Though this "final" sequel is being sold as a real extravaganza send-off for the series, "Freddy's Dead" is in fact a lesser entry.
"Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare" is rated R for considerable violence, profanity, vulgarity and marijuana smoking.