DEAR ABBY: I have a 6-year-old daughter. She is a beautiful child. "Angie" has long blond hair and beautiful sky-blue eyes. She was born with a brownish birthmark over one eye and down her cheek. I do not consider her "disfigured"; in fact, when I look at Angie, I don't even see the birthmark.
I find it very distressing when people react to the birthmark instead of to the person. Strangers will grab Angie's chin and turn her face, asking, "What's wrong with your face?" Abby, there is nothing wrong with her face. She is beautiful, and we have taught her that God gave her this birthmark to draw attention to her beautiful blue eyes.It is too bad more people can't look beyond the surface and see the person within. In this day of diets and plastic surgeries, we seem to have lost respect for nature and reality.
Never have we considered any type of surgery to remove Angie's birthmark. She is not harmed by it in any way. The harm is from well-meaning people who want to "comfort" me and her. Any remarks about surgery to "fix" her face are demeaning to her, and telling me that she is not good enough the way she is. People should realize, it's what's on the inside - not the outside - that counts. I am sure you understand. - A LOVING MOTHER
DEAR MOTHER: I do understand, and I know how you feel, but Angie's feelings must be considered. No child wants to be "different," and Angie's birthmark makes her different - and immediately conspicuous. Ask her if she would like to have her birthmark removed.
A consultation with her teacher, the school nurse, her pediatrician or your clergyperson might be helpful. Please consider these suggestions, and be assured there are several options for making such birthmarks less conspicuous.
DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married in June, and although this is not a serious matter, I have a nagging question that it seems only you can answer.
The question relates to throwing rice vs. birdseed at weddings.
I've heard two rumors: Any rice eaten by birds expands in their stomachs and kills them; The first rumor was started by the manufacturers of birdseed in order to promote their product.
Which rumor is true, Abby? I would prefer to have rice thrown at my wedding but not at the expense of any luckless birds who might happen to eat it. - DONNA IN ATLANTA
DEAR DONNA: My current bird expert, Mike Cunningham, associate curator of birds at the Los Angeles Zoo, just chirped me this message: "Most birds that eat hard seeds and grains have a gizzard, which grinds the object before it reaches the stomach.
"They also have very good digestive systems, so rice presents no problem for them. If a bird were to die from eating rice, it would be a freak accident."
CONFIDENTIAL TO WOMEN OVER 60 WHO ARE SEEKING ROMANCE:
Don't set your sights on a guy with curls,
Is my advice to the Medicare girls.
Avoid the touted singles bars,
And go for the guys with the bypass scars!
- by Betty E. Wiener
Most teenagers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)