Dear Abby: This is a very touchy problem. We are a young couple with three young children.
My husband's mother lives with us and we share all the rooms, except for the bedrooms. (Grand-ma has her own bedroom.)The problem is that she has no social life of her own - therefore, she is with the family all the time. I can never spend any time alone with my husband and children - unless I leave the house.
Have you any suggestions on how I can be alone with my husband and children without hurting my mother-in-law's feelings?
- Stumped
Dear Stumped: Much depends on what kind of person your mother-in-law is. The only clue to her personality is that she has no social life of her own - which leads me to believe that she isn't very sociable, and nobody seeks her out. In addition, she is not the kind of person with whom you can be perfectly candid without hurting her feelings - otherwise, why would you be writing to me?
I could be more helpful if you answered a few questions: How old is she? Is she in good health? Does she drive? Does she have any friends? Is she good company? Does she have any special interests? Does she want to socialize on her own? Is she content to stay home? Answer these questions and perhaps I can be more helpful.
Dear Abby: You had some columns about people who had trouble with their names. Please include me.
My first name is Roberta and my last name is Law. Simple, right? Wrong!
I get correspondence with some strange combinations. Some examples: Robert A. Law, Robert A. Low, also Robert Long.
I got tired of being mistaken for a male, so I decided to use my middle name, which is Mae.
Then, I received correspondence addressed to: Robert A. Mac Law. I give up!
- Roberta M. Law,
Olympia, Wash.
Dear Roberta: You think you have trouble? A female named Jayne Nesbitt received a "greetings" letter from Uncle Sam addressed to "Jay Nesbitt."
Dear Abby: I strongly disagree with your advice to "Disgusted," the woman who moved into a studio apartment next door to a drug-using prostitute.
Do you really believe that complaining to her neighbor directly will stop her neighbor from working as a prostitute and using drugs? I would not want to chance angering a woman who probably has some criminal acquaint-ances.
"Disgusted" would be safer following the last sentence of your advice - to see an attorney about getting out of her lease.
My advice would have been, "Move as soon as possible."
- Cautious
Dear Cautious: Your answer was better than mine.
Dear Abby: Some time ago you printed Lord Chesterfield's opinion of sex. It was hilarious. Please print it again.
- Canadian
Dear Canadian: "The price is exorbitant, the pleasure is transitory, and the position is ridiculous."
Good advice for everyone - teens to seniors - is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)
1993 Universal Press Syndicate