Dear Abby: We own quite a bit of farmland. We have four children, all married with families.

One son, the eldest, thinks I should sit down with all the kids and discuss the contents of my will.Abby, my wife and I are from the old school, and we don't think we should - and that is what I told him.

He says, "Times have changed and people are doing that nowadays - otherwise it would be like traveling without a road map."

What is your opinion?

- Another Iowan

Dear Iowan: The contents of one's will are usually not disclosed until it's time to deliver the inheritance.

Tell your son he doesn't need a road map; he should just assume that "the road" leads to the poorhouse - and he shouldn't count his chickens before they're hatched.

Dear Abby: I thought you might like to share something I clipped from a Better Business Bureau bulletin. It might enlighten some employers and employees as to why their business is down.

- An Arkansas Reader

"REMEMBER ME"

"I'm the fellow who goes into a restaurant, sits down and patiently waits while the waitresses do everything but take my order. I'm the fellow who goes into a department store and stands quietly while the sales clerks finish their little chitchat. I'm the man who drives into a gasoline station and never blows his horn, but waits patiently while the attendant finishes reading his comic book.

"Yes, you might say I'm a good guy. But do you know who else I am? I am the Fellow Who Never Comes Back, and it amuses me to see you spending thousands of dollars every year to get me back into your store, when I was there in the first place, and all you had to do to keep me was to give me a little service; show me a little courtesy."

Dear Abby: If you are not tired of dealing with letters about unusual names, here's my contribution:

My maiden name was Orange, which caused much comment. One boyfriend used to say, "Oranges are more `apeeling' when they are Sunkist." I got so tired of all the "orange" remarks that I ended up marrying a man named Smith.

By the way, my husband belongs to the Jim Smith Society. It has hundreds of members all over the United States. Every year, the Jim Smith Society has a convention in a different city.

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Can you imagine a desk clerk dealing with dozens of Jim Smiths all registered in the same hotel?

- Norma (Mrs. James) Smith,

Freeport, N.Y.

Dear Norma: It is bound to be very confusing - especially if the Jim Smiths charge breakfasts, lunches and various sundries to their hotel rooms. (I'll bet the Jim Smiths go over their hotel bills very carefully.)

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