Elizabeth Bouvia's body is gnarled and useless. But a decade after she sought the right to starve herself to death, it still holds obstinately to life.
"Unfortunately," the 36-year-old woman said Monday from her hospital bed, "I'm sure I could live for a long time in this position."Ten years ago Thursday, Bouvia, who has cerebral palsy, sought a court's permission to stop the force-feeding that was keeping her alive.
In April 1986, she won an appeals court ruling that created a precedent in California for patients who wanted to make decisions about their medical care.
She changed her plans almost immediately, when she realized that it would take several painful, public weeks for her to die.
Today, a continuous dose of morphine keeps the pain down, and Bouvia is resigned to her life.
Nevertheless, she said, "If I had to do it over again, I'd do the same thing. I don't like to think about it (death) now. If I dwelled on it, I would be very depressed."
The lawyer who won her case and became her confidant, Richard Scott, committed suicide in August 1992. His wife said he had battled depression for most of his life.
Shortly after he died, Bouvia said, "I wish he could have come in and taken me with him." She declined to talk about him this week.
Bouvia's abivalence extends to suicide doctor Jack Kevorkian, who is fighting Michigan authorities for the right to assist terminally ill patients who want to kill themselves.
"I think he has some good ideas," she said. "But I think he's going about it the wrong way. By defying the law, he's causing problems."
Bouvia, down to almost 60 pounds during her court fight, now eats solid food and weighs about 100 pounds. She sounds robust and cheerful, although she has said "life is a lot of needles and bags," and she spends most of her time watching television.
Her private room and 24-hour care at the hospital cost taxpayers $300 a day.
"I wouldn't say I'm happy, but I'm physically comfortable, more comfortable than before," she said. "There is nothing really to do. I just kind of lay here."