Dear Abby: I came to the United States from the Netherlands in 1960 with a fairly good knowledge of the English language, but I took quite a ribbing about my pronunciation and ignorance of your slang words and expressions.
Over the years, friends and relatives from the Netherlands have come over to visit me, and they all agree that the U.S. Customs officers give foreigners a very hard time. (Not all foreigners are terrorists, drug dealers or thieves, you know.)My 87-year-old mother was made to wait while the customs officer rewrote all her forms. (If he could read them, they must have been legible, right?)
Recently my nephew came over with his wife. Their plane had been delayed eight hours, arriving at Kennedy Airport at 3 a.m., where the customs officers were downright nasty!
I don't know if the same is true at other international airports, but I'd like to know if other travelers have had problems with customs officers. Perhaps they should all be sent to charm school.
Abby, if you print this, please don't use my name, as I fly back home every year, and I don't want to be "strip-searched" next time I fly.
- Frequent Flier in New York
Dear Frequent Flier: It would take more than "charm school"; it would take "reform" school.
I, too, had a nasty run-in with a U.S. Customs officer: On returning from the Orient in 1963, a customs officer in Honolulu insisted that the pearl necklace I was carrying in my purse had been purchased in the Orient.
I told him that I had owned it for 10 years. He refused to believe me, so I telephoned my insurance agent in San Francisco, who verified the fact.
This occurred on a Sunday. All the telephone circuits were busy, so it took four hours to complete the call; consequently, I missed my plane and had to take a later flight home.
Dear Abby: Our daughter married a man with two children who lived with them. They later had one child together. For many years, we included the stepchildren in our family gatherings. After they were grown, we decided that the stepchildren should be excluded. (We asked our daughter to handle this.)
Our son-in-law and his children were very hurt and angry. (Can you believe they nearly divorced over this?) Now, he no longer speaks to us, and neither he nor our daughter comes to family parties. She insists that we were wrong, but we don't believe we were.
What do you think? And how can we rectify this situation?
- Perplexed in Michigan
Dear Perplexed: I think you were not only wrong, you were incredibly insensitive, tactless and cruel. You owe your daughter, her husband and the children you offended an apology.
Dear Abby: I've been reading about all the crybabies who are angry and disappointed because they did not know their biological parents.
Abby, did they ever stop to think that they might have been the aftermath of a drunken party?
I was adopted by two of the finest people who ever lived. They picked me from a multitude of babies, and they doctored, cared for and loved me with all their hearts.
I would not have walked next door to see my natural mother or father. I am 71 years old. Please withhold my name.
- A Mississippi Male