I HADN'T THOUGHT too much about all the stores that are open on holidays until my sister-in-law came very late to Thanksgiving dinner. She manages a Fred Meyer store, and it was open on Thanksgiving - like Kmart, ShopKo and other large stores.
So, of course, she had to work.You won't usually find mall stores open on holidays, but the major discount chains are open on every holiday except Christmas.
I asked my sister-in-law how much business she had on Thanksgiving, and she said, "About as much as the second week in January - slower than most days, but a steady stream of customers anyway."
Fred Meyer, she said, likes the customer to consider the store to be absolutely dependable. They always know when it's open.
Most customers, she said, were in the store for at least several minutes - "wandering, looking for several things. A few just ran in for one item, like a snow shovel, but most were carefully shopping."
Maybe some of them were lonely. Maybe they really didn't have anything else to do on that holiday.
The most interesting thing is that several customers were painfully aware of the sacrifice being made by the store's employees. "Too bad you have to work on Thanksgiving!" they said. They didn't seem to realize that if they didn't frequent the store, it would not have to be open.
Of course, the question here is: Do people really need to shop on Thanksgiving? The answer is "No, they do not!" And if they are just running to a store for a single item they forgot for the holiday, chances are they could do without it.
And if people didn't shop on Thanksgiving, the stores would not feel the need to be open. If one store closed, others might be inclined to follow. If all of them closed, the loss of business would be negligible. So the next time you think of shopping on a holiday, don't.
By the way, Christmas Eve is a holiday this year for most people.
* Lee White, a friend of mine, told me about a survey in which public school teachers rated their most important discipline problems, first in 1940: Talking out of turn, chewing gum, making noise, running in the halls, cutting in line, dress code and littering.
By 1990, the items had changed drastically: Drugs and alcohol abuse, pregnancy, suicide, rape, robbery and assault.
* Are your kids like mine? Do they like anything that is fake? Like fake potatoes and fake butter - and eating at any junk food emporium that sells bona fide fake food? At our dinner table, we preface every request with, "Would you please pass the fake . . . ?
* The new names that I enjoy saying the most are Bill Lagatuta of CBS News and Butros Butros Galli.
* I'm collecting jokes about marriage and divorce. My favorite is: If Olivia Newton John married Wayne Newton, then got divorced and married Elton John, then moved to Newton, Mass., what would her bathroom be called?
Answer: Olivia Newton John Newton John's Newton John.
My next favorite is one about Ivana Trump marrying Neil Diamond, then getting a divorce and marrying Jack Nicklaus. Her name would be IVANA DIAMOND NICKLAUS.
Another one that my colleague Jerry Johnston says Johnny Carson used to tell is about Jane Pauley, who married a used car dealer named Wally, then divorced him and married Howdy Doody, then divorced him and married boxer Muhammad Ali, divorced him and married the singer, Dennis Day.
Yup. Her name became Pauley Wally Doody Ali Day.