Whenever I want to know what the economy is doing, I ask Joe Rees who sells from a cart and peddles almost-real Rolexes, look-alike Chanel scarves and fake Louis Vuitton hand-bags.
"How is Christmas business?" I asked."I'm up 17 percent over last year," he said happily. "The consumer is coming back and the counterfeit stuff is moving faster than the real thing. I can't keep my Rolex Oysters in stock."
"That's a sign that times are good. People wouldn't be buying fake Oysters unless they thought that the recession was over. Are the real Oyster people mad at you for selling rip-offs of their product?"
"I hope not," Joe said. "They should be pleased that we chose them over the fake Cartier watches.
"Actually I am peeved at the Rolex crowd. I don't like their advertising campaign. I believe that those of us who represent their product on the sidewalks should have been consulted about what kind of ads they run in the newspapers."
I agreed with Joe. "That's the trouble. You have no control when you buy imitation goods from a dealer. Outside of that, do you have customer complaints about any of your merchandise?"
"Why would anyone complain when everything I sell is made by slave labor in China?"
"Are those real imitation Yves St. Laurent negligees?"
"You better believe it. They're made of pure silk in my sister-in-law's basement in the Bronx."
Several people were examining the watches.
A young man was holding one to his ear.
"It isn't ticking," he said.
Rees explained, "Quartz watches don't tick. That's why they are so much in demand."
"Is there a guarantee with this watch?"
"You better believe it. It's guaranteed by the same people who make fake Parker pens. Yesterday I sold two to an astronaut on the space shuttle."
The most interesting part of merchandising from a cart is that if you can gather a crowd you can sell an awful lot of items. The man who was buying the watch attracted two other people, who attracted four. They were all doing the same thing - holding an Oyster watch up to their ears trying to hear it tick.
This inspired Joe to start shouting, "Only one to a customer. Please show your driver's license when purchasing a Rolex - you may be on their blacklist."
I thought to myself, "Only in America - with a brief stop in Hong Kong."