When you're in the first grade, you know a lot. And what you know is unshakable. Angels know where not to tread, and so should anyone trying to sway a 7-year-old.
Take Christmas and all its surrounding images, for instance. For our first-grader, Santa is real. Not only Santa, but all of Santa's various helpers and animals. I think it's nothing short of miraculous that a child can reach 7 in this day and age - with two older brothers - and still believe in Santa.So, I do my best to preserve our youngest's beliefs. It isn't easy. The other day at breakfast he was asking when he could see Santa. Before I could answer, an older brother began scornfully, "Don't you know yet that Santa isn't . . . mmph . . . ."
Quickly stuffing a muffin in that son's mouth, I picked up his unfinished thought, ". . . isn't coming until much closer to Christmas."
Our little one's joy knows no bounds these days. He readies for school singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" - all 12 of them, at the top of his lungs, every day at 6:30 a.m. Some of us know joys with bounds - especially at that hour in the morning.
And woe to the fuzzy-minded parent who, when asked to join in, confuses the maids a-milking with the geese a-laying. Our 7-year-old knows, and won't have it sung any other way. Of course, if you mess up, you have to go back to the beginning of the song. Where is that school bus?
It's not just the days of Christmas he's enthusiastic about. It's also Santa's reindeer.
"Mommy, I can't remember all the names of the reindeer," he said one morning while combing his hair in the bathroom.
"I can't either," I said, hoping that would be the end of it.
"OK, there's Dancer and Prancer and, hmmmm. . . ."
Fortunately, I eyed a can of bathroom cleanser by the sink just then.
"Ajax!" I exclaimed proudly.
"No, no. It's Comet," he admonished.
Let's face it. I'm just not "Santatifically Correct" these days.
Another morning he asked, "Who are the guys who make all Santa's toys?"
Ah-hah! I knew this one.
"Elves," I said. "They're Santa's elves."
He looked at me with great disappointment. "No, Mom. The elves are the ones who dress like Santa and help him get from store to store before Christmas." Geez, his look said, how can you be so old and not know that.
Even though I felt I was on pretty solid ground with this elves business, I could see right off there would be no convincing him. He's 7 and he knows.
"Gee, I thought it was elves," I said.
"That's OK," he said. "My friend's mommy has some sitting in her front room by Santa. I'll ask her what they're called."
Ahh, guilt. There's just no keeping up with the other mommies.
I have done at least one thing right this Christmas season. I made a really neat Advent calendar. It has all these little figures you can Velcro on for each day of the season.
"Wow, Mom. This is great! Which figure goes on first?" he immediately asked.
Gulp. The instructions didn't say. Well, I haven't been a mother all these years without learning a few quick-thinking tricks.
"Let's go ask your friend's mommy," I said.