Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year and a half. We just had a baby girl. The problem is that he told me we would get married before the baby was born, and we didn't. He also told me we would get married before the holidays, but we didn't.
I want to get married very much, but I don't want to push him. I love him and the baby, but it doesn't seem like a real family to me. I feel like a live-in maid.It's hard for me to tell him how I feel face-to-face, so will you please print this so he will read it and know how I feel? I have the feeling that if I keep living with him, he'll think he never has to marry me. So what do you think I should do?
- The Live-in Maid
Dear Live-in: When you quit acting like a live-in maid, he will quit treating you like one. You don't say how old you are or how much education you've had, but it's time you started thinking in terms of learning to take care of yourself and your child, so that you will not be dependent on this - or any other - man. Get as much education as you can, and learn a skill. It is possible to do this on a welfare program, for which you may qualify as an unwed mother. Don't beg him to marry you. He's no prize.
Dear Abby: In reference to people who slam doors:
When I was a young girl, I was mad at my mother, so I went out the door and slammed it hard. My mother called me back and said, "Now, young lady, I want you to go out that door and close it like you should - and don't you ever slam a door like that again."
That was a lesson I have lived with all my life and have never forgotten. I am now 88 years old, living in a senior retirement home, and notice that there are certain people who cannot seem to close a door - it must be slammed. Why?
- O.V.N., Birmingham, Ala.
Dear O.V.N.: There are people who do everything with a vengeance, enthusiasm and emphasis.
Erma Bombeck once wrote, "A slammed door is worth 10,000 words." She's right on the button, as usual. The words that were left unspoken were best left unspoken!
Dear Abby: Last December, I wrote to you asking for an idea for a gift for my aunt who was retiring. She lives alone and has no other family. You said I should try to be unique in choosing a gift. I thought you might like to know how I resolved it.
After giving it a lot of thought and searching for the right gift, I offered to have a security system installed in her home and pay the first six months monitoring fee. Abby, I don't think the lady could have been happier.
- David Lee Jones
Dear David: A security system was an excellent idea for a gift - especially for a person living alone in retirement. Thanks for the update. Your aunt is fortunate to have such a generous and caring nephew.
Dear Abby: Several months ago, one of your readers wrote that she thought she had received a recycled wedding gift. Perhaps instead of getting a secondhand gift, she received a secondhand gift box. Nearly all of us save extra-special gift boxes for later use.
- Jeannette Whitworth,
Commerce, Texas
Dear Jeannette: I suspect almost everyone does save extra-special gift boxes. However, the reader had said that the gift cards that she found inside the packages indicated that the contents had been given to two of her guests who had been married four years previously.