Dear Abby: I've been told that I look good in blue - every shade from pale blue to royal blue.

My wife thinks I should widen my horizons, and since she does most of the shopping, occasionally she will bring home colors that make me wince.One time she bought me a yellow shirt with matching yellow pants, a yellow tie and - you guessed it - bright yellow socks!

Abby, I'm 6 foot 3 and heavy; if I dyed my shoes orange, I would have looked like Big Bird hopping down the street.

I think she knew she overdid it when she asked, "You do like it, don't you?"

All I could answer was, "Tweet."

Keep in mind she is free to select whichever colors she wants to wear, and she can even choose the color we paint the house. But my question is: At age 45, should my taste prevail, or must I resign myself to having my "horizons widened" in this personal area?

- Tweetie in Brooksville, Fla.

Dear Tweetie: Your wife's taste seems to be "for the birds."

You are old enough to make your own choices, so come the Fourth of July, declare your independence, and do your own shopping.

Dear Abby: My husband died three weeks ago of liver failure. We had been married for 18 years. He was only 40 years old. Our children and I are experiencing an immense amount of grief.

Abby, please advise your readers not to say, "Well, at least he's not in pain, or suffering anymore."

People do not realize how that can tear a grieving person apart. It may seem selfish, but I wish that I was still taking care of him and helping him through his pain and suffering. At least he would still be with us.

- Selfish in Seattle

Dear Selfish in Seattle: Those who use that phrase are thinking only of the release from suffering of the person who has died - not the one left behind to bear the pain of their own grief.

Perhaps the safest thing to say to someone who has lost a loved one is, "I'm sorry about your loss." Period.

Dear Abby: I went to a wedding shower last Sunday, and - are you ready for this? - a guest had brought her wedding album to the shower; as the bride-to-be, "Nancy," was opening her gifts, the entire groom's side of the family was occupied looking at the guest's pictures!

I understand the young woman who brought the album wanted everyone to see her wedding pictures, but don't you think this was the wrong time and place? At least she could have waited until the bride-to-be finished opening her gifts.

My heart really went out to Nancy. This was supposed to be her day, and the look on her face when she saw what was going on in the back of the room was heartbreaking.

Abby, where are people's manners? I know that several of the guests read your column, and I hope when they read this, they will realize how rude they were.

- A Caring Friend, Cherry Hill, N.J.

Dear Friend: The people who were looking at the album during the wedding shower were rude. And the guest who brought it to the shower showed incredibly poor judgment.

Good advice for everyone - teens to seniors - is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)