Question: Why do guys say they like you and then go and do something very terrible?
Answer: FROM MICHELEINE, DARLENE, URICK, KEVIN AND AIMEE, VALLEY HIGH SCHOOL, LAS VEGAS: Guys are afraid of showing their feelings. Girls show their feelings more easily, but it is hard for guys. Guys have big egos and it makes them feel good to do this. They also like to play the field more than girls; they are fickle. Guys also really don't want to commit because they are too young. They get peer pressure from their friends to play the field.
PAT AND DAVID: There are males who will tell girls anything to score. But you don't have to be a statistic of these meaningless promises. Set your limits and don't let anybody talk or force you into something you don't want to do.
If something "very terrible" was done to you, tell someone who can help you. Start with your parents. If they can't or won't help, go to your school nurse, a counselor or your doctor.
Question: Why do so many people get abused?
- From Kelly, 17
Answer: FROM MICHELEINE, DARLENE, URICK, KEVIN AND AIMEE, VALLEY HIGH SCHOOL, LAS VEGAS: People who abuse mentally, verbally or physically are insecure. They think the abuse makes them better people. Another reason people abuse is because they were abused themselves. When someone is abused, they think that is the normal way to do things, so they become abusers themselves. Often people who abuse others are in pain. To ease their hurting, they inflict an emotional, physical or mental pain on someone else.
PAT AND DAVID: From personal put-downs and bullying to in-your-face, kick-your-butt confrontations, some people accept and even seem to admire dominating, aggressive attitudes. Unfortunately, these can become abusive. Also, some people were abused when they were younger, so they become abusers.
One out of four teens today is a victim of verbal or physical abuse. If you or someone you know is being abused, talk to someone you trust who has the ability to help you. Don't just hang in there and hope the abuser will stop. Abusers don't know how to handle their anger and frustration, and they can't learn how to do so without help.
If you don't know anyone to talk to, call the Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453.
TALKBACK FROM `S.G.K.': I read a letter from an overweight teen express(ing) low self-esteem and loneliness. Your reply was to get active in sports and go on a diet. Telling a teen that their problems are because they are too fat and lazy just added to the low self-esteem. Why didn't you tell this teen to go talk to a counselor, try to find one good, true friend, try not to judge others by their appearances. You BOTH blew this one BIG time. Let's hope this teen doesn't go on a binge and purge diet, take diet pills or laxatives because of your advice.
PAT AND DAVID: A wise person once pointed out how important it is to know the difference between accepting what can't be changed and changing what can't be accepted. The 180-pound, 13-year-old girl who wrote to us wanted to know what to do about changing her weight.
We don't know if that's the column you're referring to because we did not give her the advice you've quoted. But thanks for sharing your thoughts and for giving us the chance to repeat - during this season of overeating and binge-dieting - what we did say.
"Ask your doctor, the school nurse, or your local community health agency if there's a hospital, clinic or agency in your area that offers a weight/eating-disorders program. Such programs have nutritionists, dietitians, psychiatrists and psychologists, internists and social workers available. These specialists will be able to design a total program that works for you. DO follow their advice. DON'T try to starve yourself. DON'T join a program that promises you'll lose weight quickly, but doesn't help with the underlying causes of your weight problem."
WHAT'S UP: December is national Drunk and Drugged-Driving Prevention Month. The National Alcohol/Drug Prevention Center reminds you and your friends that as you celebrate the holiday season, don't drive drunk or drugged.
Be alive in '95.