Dear Abby: My daughters have been bugging me to give up driving. I told them, "I have driven for 70 years without an accident."
They said, "Daddy, we know that, but you don't see as well as you used to, and your reflexes aren't so quick anymore."I reminded them that I drive only in familiar areas - never fast, never on freeways, and never at night.
Abby, I consider my car a sign of my independence, and I want to drive to the grocery store or the drugstore when I feel like it.
How can I get my daughters off my back? Is there some kind of neutral panel I can ask to judge whether I am still a safe driver?
- Elderly But Able,
Gainesville, Fla.
Dear Elderly But Able: Contact the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), and sign up for its "55-Alive Mature Driving Course." It's a refresher course designed specifically for older drivers. It alerts them to age-related changes in hearing and vision that might affect their driving. Equally important, it teaches them how to compensate for those changes and helps them accept the fact that eventually driving must be discontinued.
In 1990-91, an extensive study revealed that those who complete the course are approximately 16 percent less likely to be involved in an accident resulting in injury or death - which makes it well worth the $8 fee.
Many insurance companies reduce the auto insurance premiums for those who have taken the "55-Alive" course. If AARP is not listed in your telephone directory, write to: 55-Alive, American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), 601 E St. N.W., Washington, DC 20049.
Dear Abby: I got pregnant. Paul, the man who got me pregnant, had a bad drinking problem and had been in jail many times because of it. When he found out I was pregnant, he said he wasn't ready to be a father - and he left me. We were both 25. Neither Paul nor anyone from his family called or came to see me during my pregnancy.
I had a beautiful baby girl. I named her Lisa. Paul came by once, to show his new girlfriend "his" beautiful daughter.
When Lisa was a year old, I met a wonderful man. Jimmy was 36 and was married to a woman who refused to give him a divorce, although they hadn't lived together for four years. I moved in with him. Lisa calls him "Daddy." He is the only father she has ever known.
Now for my problem: I bought a baby book. Whose name do I fill in as Lisa's father? Paul has never been a father to Lisa. If it were up to me, I would write in Jimmy's name because he's always been there for her.
The baby book also has other questions to fill in - like "Dad's first reaction" (I don't know); "Classes we attended" (we didn't attend any); "Parents' courtship" (there was no courtship).
What should I do about all those questions? Please don't use my name, or where this is from.
- Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed: Please don't fill in the blanks with false information. Unless Jimmy legally adopts Lisa, his name should not be entered as "Lisa's father." Everything in a baby book should be true.