Dumped on Saturdays- albeit after "Dr. Quinn," the night's biggest hit - you might think that "The Five Mrs. Buchanans" is just another sacrificial sitcom.
On the contrary, this is the best new comedy of the season.Saucy and sassy, "Buchanans" is a worthy successor to shows like "Designing Women" and "The Golden Girls." The premise is as old as TV, but the execution is hilarious.
Actually, the premise is far older than TV - the trials of living with a difficult mother. (And difficult is putting it mildly.)
Most of the Mrs. Buchanans are sisters-in-law, married to the four Buchanan brothers. In Saturday's pilot episode (8 p.m., Ch. 5), the three sisters-in-law learn that the youngest brother is about to get married, and they worry whether the new Mrs. Buchanan will fit in.
"I've always considered it a minor miracle that the three of us get along so well," says Vivian (Harriet Sansom Harris). "Let's face it. We would never have been friends if we hadn't married brothers."
"It's true. Look at Vivian and me, I mean we have nothing in common," says Delilah (Beth Broderick). "I'm an ex-cocktail waitress from Corpus Christie and she's an old stuck-up prude from right here in Mercy."
The other two sisters-in-law are equally different. Judith Ivey plays Alex, the most level-headed of the bunch who stands out as a New York Jew in a suburb of Indianapolis. And young Bree (Charlotte Ross) has only recently retired from her career of doing cartwheels in Disneyland parades.
What the four women have in common is their mutual antagonism toward the fifth Mrs. Buchanan - their mother-in-law, perfectly played by Eileen Heckart.
With that gravelly voice, Heckart creates the image of the mother-in-law from hell in her first appearance with just one word. And that word is only "hello."
The three veteran sisters-in-law try to be tactful with young Bree but are put into a panic when the newest Mrs. Buchanan tells them she's invited Mother Buchanan to a hastily arranged wedding shower.
"We pretend to like her. That's what family is all about," Vivian shouts by means of an explanation.
Alex, Delilah and Vivian grow somewhat concerned at how well Bree seems to be getting along with Mother Buchanan.
"Imagine if Mother Buchanan and Bree did end up bonding," says Alex.
"Oh, we can't let that happen," says Delilah. "We can't let Bree go over to the dark side."
And the mother-in-law on that dark side has a singular way of dealing with her daughters-in-law.
"Dear, sweet Vivian. You look wonderful," she says.
"Why, thank you Mother Buchanan," Vivien responds in surprise.
"Oh, I just wish they'd had collagen when I turned 50," Mother Buchanan adds.
Upon returning far too quickly from Alex's powder room, Mother Buchanan says, "Obviously you didn't get a chance to clean in there. I'll just wait till I get to a Texaco."
And when Bree opens her gift from Alex and Vivian, a microwave oven, Mother Buchanan quickly pipes up with, `My friend, Beverly Davis, she got one just like it. Within a month she was dead. Draw your own conclusion."
But this is more than a one-joke show. Each of the characters has loads of possibilities, and the ways they can play off each other appear endless.
And eventually, we'll be meeting all the Buchanan brothers as well. (Only one appears in the pilot.)
Not to mention Vivian's unseen twin sons (who will remain unseen), who are the children from hell - they play games like "International Hostage" in the back yard with the cat.
The writing is witty and the casting is great. If CBS gives this a chance to catch on, it may well enjoy a run as "Golden" as the "Women" who came before.
LOCAL BUSINESS: KSL-Ch. 5 has finally made it official - it will launch a weekly half-hour local business show on Sunday at 10 a.m.
Keith McCord will host "Utah Business," which will focus exclusively on what's going on in the Beehive state.
THE BEGINNING OF THE END: Well, John Madden really has been Foxified.
He's been pretty much the same old Madden on Fox's NFL broadcasts. But now comes word that he'll co-host the fourth network's Sunday-night lineup on Oct. 9 with "Married . . . With Children" star Ed O'Neill.
Can an appearance on "Melrose Place" be far behind?
A DAY IN THE LIVES: Speaking of "Melrose," Fox has scheduled a one-hour special about the stars of that show for Wednesday, Oct. 5, at 8 p.m.
Titled "A Day In the Lives of Melrose Place," it "will take viewers into the private worlds of the stars of television's hotest series."
Let's face it. Nothing the actors do could possibly compare with all the fictional shenanigans that go on in the series.
BACK IN THE BIZ: Lucie Salhany, who was fired . . . er, uh, who officially resigned at chairwoman of the Fox Broadcasting Co. in July, is now the head of the proposed United Paramount network.
Salhany had the brilliant idea to give Chevy Chase his own late-night talk show while she was at Fox, which helps explain why she's not at Fox anymore.
Rather ironically, Salhany was the head of Paramount Domestic Television back when that studio launched "Star Trek: The Next Generation." And now she's head of a network that's supposed to launch in January with "Star Trek: Voyager."
Let's just hope she doesn't decide that Chase would be a nice addition to her new crew.
TROUBLED VOYAGE: Paramount has replaced Genevieve Bujold, who quit after less than a week as the captain of the Voyager, with Kate Mulgrew, a veteran of "Mrs. Columbo" and "Ryan's Hope."
How disappointing.
But Mulgrew is still preferable to Lindsay Wagner, who was long rumored to be the top choice for the part.
TROUBLED VOYAGE, PART 2: Whether the United Paramount network actually comes into existence is still anybody's guess. For one thing, Paramount's owner, Viacom, is reportedly interested in buying CBS.
If that happens, the United Paramount network won't ever see the light of cathode rays.
(And it would be rather ironic if Viacom ended up buying CBS, because Viacom began in the 1960s to syndicate CBS shows when the FCC rules were changed and networks had to get out of the syndication business.)
KJZZ-Ch. 14, which signed on as a Paramount affiliate, was supposed to start identifying itself as such this fall. But the alleged network has no promotional materials ready and told the folks at Ch. 14 to be patient.
But KJZZ's contract does call for it to get "Star Trek: Voyager" whether there's a network or not.
MORE NEW NETWORK TROUBLE: The other proposed new network, Warner Bros.' WB, is still supposedly a go, but, once again, don't hold your breath.
Time-Warner is apparently interested in buying one of the Big Three networks itself - or at least in becoming a partner in one of them. And if that happens, kiss WB goodbye.