Forget the hoopla about the Internet and its chat rooms, the World Wide Web and its online multi-player games and spinning Java applets.
After reading 4,002 articles about the wonders of the Internet - and writing a few himself - A.J. Jacobs is touting a really killer app: America Off-Line.Jacobs was probably mid-click with his computer mouse when a little light bulb icon went on in his head: He could write a book to help people connect with this awesome, interactive network.
"It's a nice little diversion out there," Jacobs said.
In his breakthrough book "America Off-Line: The Complete Outernet Starter Kit" (Cader Books/Andrews and McMeel, $8.95) Jacobs tells how to surf America Off-Line, launched in 1776.
He makes these startling observations:
- America Off-Line boasts 250 million members - about 10 times the membership of all the online services put together.
- America Off-Line is part of the "Outernet" that encompasses the World Wide World, with a current membership of 5 billion.
- It has superior, 3-D graphics and an unrivaled surround sound system.
- Objects in America Off-Line not only look like what they are, they are what they are!
- One desktop tool available in America Off-Line is a cutting-edge mail system where users get mail delivered directly to their doors by real live humans in cute uniforms.
- Another widely used desktop tool in America Off-Line is the Word Processor or "pencil," which comes with unlimited fonts and an automatic save function. Pencils are so simple you don't need a user's manual and they are cheap, too. A dozen No. 2 pencils cost 89 cents at OfficeMax, an Off-Line store. That's about 1/112th the price of the upgrade version of Corel WordPerfect Version 7.
- Emoticons are simple in America Off-Line. Just imitate the smiley :) with your face, Jacobs advises.
- Many people in America Off-Line have their own Personal Home Pages, shortened in Reality to "home." To get "hits" members give their addresses out.
Jacobs, a writer for Entertainment Weekly, took three weeks to research and write "America Off-Line." It's his second book.
"I bought about 16 computer manuals and became totally immersed in computerese," Jacobs said of his latest book. "I basically took the computer manuals and every time they said `Internet' I said `Reality' and there you have it."
Jacobs favorite discovery in America Off-Line: a powerful search engine called the "Intern."
"To initiate a search, simply tell the `intern' the parameters," Jacobs said.
Example: "Hey, would you find me that article that came out, like, three years ago on wild dogs in Aruba? I can't remember if it was in the Wall Street Journal or People."
The neat thing about the America Off-Line search engine is the "intern" will spend the rest of the day looking for the article simply because he or she wants a job, Jacobs said.
Jacobs wanted Cader Books to hawk the book with a free America Off-Line Word Processor (pencil) or file attacher (paper clip).
"I guess it was too expensive, but they are readily available in many America Off-Line stores," Jacobs said.
Jacobs' guide to America Off-Line debuted last week in stores on America Off-Line.
"I'm still waiting for a backlash," he said. "So far I haven't been spammed or hacked."