One of these days I'm going to have to forgive Donny Osmond for the Rosie O'Donnell incident. You remember: When Osmond was a guest during the debut week of "The Rosie O'Donnell Show" a year and a half ago, he lobbed an insulting wisecrack at O'Donnell about her weight.
Bad idea.First, it was a "fat" joke, which is always a cheap shot. Second, it was obvious to all but Osmond that O'Donnell really loved him. She was genuinely crushed at his snippy attitude.
Later, Osmond would claim he misunderstood O'Donnell's gushing about the good ol' "Donny & Marie" days, that he thought she was making fun of him - and so he tried to hold his own by making a joke.
Sense-of-humor lessions are obviously in order.
OK, this is old news, but I can't help it. Every time Donny Osmond pops up in the media, it reminds me of how clueless and insensitive he was.
Later he went on O'Donnell's show again, ostensibly to apologize, and donned a baggy dog suit to sing "Puppy Love." But he never really seemed remorseful.
His sister Marie was also on that show, and she was great, trying to protect Donny from himself. As Donny kept making wisecracks, she warned, "You're just digging yourself in deeper." And Donny kept digging.
These days, Donny is gearing up for his own daytime TV talk/variety show with Marie, beginning late next year, and preparing "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" for its first local performance. They say Donny is great in the show. I'm sure he is. But I won't be going.
Meanwhile, the Osmonds - Donny, Marie and siblings galore - remain high-profile celebrities in Utah, and people are constantly calling to ask about their videos. Until recently, the two most requested Osmond titles - "Goin' Coconuts" and "The Great Brain" - have not been available. But now they are.
So, here's what's out there, Osmondwise, for your pre-Christmas shopping pleasure:
- "The Seven Little Foys" (1964), not to be confused with the 1955 Bob Hope film of the same title. This was an episode of "The Bob Hope Chrysler Theater" with Eddie Foy Jr. playing his own vaudeville-star father and the young Osmond Brothers as five of the seven performing kids. (Video Yesteryear; $14.99)
- "Goin' Coconuts" (1978), Donny & Marie's only theatrical feature, a silly comedy about mobsters trying to steal Marie's necklace during her concert tour with Donny in Hawaii, complete with jokes about Utah, big families and big teeth. (WHAM!USA, $19.99)
- "The Gift of Love" (1978), a made-for-TV adaptation of O. Henry's classic short story "The Gift of the Magi," starring Marie and Timothy Bottoms (with a very young James Woods in support). (Monterey Home Video, Karol Video; $24.99)
- "Side By Side: The True Story of the Osmond Family" (1982) stars Marie as her own mother, Olive, and Joseph Bottoms as father George, in this made-for-TV biographical drama. (Worldvision Home Video; $12.99)
(All of the above vidoes may be ordered from the Movies Unlimited catalog, 1-800-4-MOVIES.)
- "The Great Brain" (1978) is a theatrical film starring young Jimmy Osmond as John D. Fitzgerald's mischievious, Tom Sawyer-like hero, playing pranks in turn-of-the-century southern Utah.
(This one is available only through a page on the Osmond Web Site, "Olive's Gift Shop"; send $19.99 to Knowledge Unlimited, P.O. Box 505, Ephraim, UT 84627. Take heed, however, that the tape is a cheap dub. Mine was broken in the mail, despite the padded envelope. I wrote for a replacement, and that one also arrived broken. Buyer beware.)
There you go. More Osmond videos than you can shake a stick at . . . and that actually might be more fun than watching them.
And did you notice how many more there are with Marie than with Donny?