I have to tell you about a recent Dog Encounter I had.
I was standing on my front lawn when a large dog who runs with the Lower Avenues Dog Gang came over to check me out. Since this particular dog and I are (usually) on speaking terms, I said "What's up, Homeboy? How are things in the 'hood?"Well, something about the way I said "What's up" obviously set him off. Suddenly that large dog began growling at me. Then he grabbed my forearm with his large-dog mouth and started chomping on me like I was his favorite chew toy. He did not technically break skin, but I did wake up the following morning with big bruises.
OK. This little experience raised the question I periodically ask myself when one of my own dogs does something wacko.
Why do we put up with dogs anyway?
Think about it for a minute. If you had a "friend" that chewed holes in your favorite shoes or dug holes in your lawn or jumped up on your table and ate your roast when you weren't looking or relieved himself on the dining-room carpet or sniffed your guests in embarrassing places as they walked through the front door, I can practically guarantee you would DUMP THAT FRIEND IN A HURRY, BABY!
When it comes to dogs, however, a lot of people more or less put up with this kind of outrageous behavior, which leads me once again to ponder the mysterious and strange relationship that exists between dog and man. Perhaps this list of "Dog Quotations" recently sent via e-mail to my friend Dave Arrington (owner of Maddy and Specs) from his friend Kim Miller (owner of Smitty and Karma) can shed some light on the subject. Or not. It's a good list anyway. My thanks to Dave, Kim and whomever generated the list in the first place for letting me share it.
DOG QUOTATIONS FOR OUR TIMES
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." -- Aldous Huxley
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." -- Robert Benchley
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." -- Sue Murphy
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey
"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it." -- Unknown
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." -- Andrew A. Rooney
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -- Mark Twain