Lost amid all the talk about how bad Dennis Miller was in his "Monday Night Football" debut was the fact that sideline reporter Eric Dickerson was worse.
He can't enunciate. His grammar is, well, his own. His smugness fairly oozed off the screen.
The man contributed absolutely nothing to the broadcast, other than unintentional humor. And the chance for fans at home to feel at least somewhat smug about the fact that they're much smarter than Dickerson.
It didn't help that Dickerson could be compared to ABC's other sideline reporter, Melissa Stark. She didn't have much to say, either, but she exhibited polish and professionalism, as opposed to the embarrassing Dickerson Amateur Hour.
If you're Dennis Miller, you've got to love having Dickerson around. He can only make you look good by comparison.
OTHER VOICES: When I tuned in Miller's "MNF" debut, I wanted to like him. I really did. I don't believe that you have to be an ex-jock to be a sportscaster, and I still hope he turns out to be someone worth listening to.
But to say I was disappointed would be an understatement. Not that I was alone. Here are a few samples of what others were saying post-Miller:
"Maven of rant imbecility and barnyard humor savored by IQ-challenged persons with Howard Stern scriptures lodged in their vacuous heads, Dennis Miller made his much-ballyhooed sportscasting debut Monday night during the San Francisco-New England telecast. Ho hum! Or better yet, humbug!" — Long Beach Press-Telegram
"Miller's performance, as might be expected of a broadcast rookie, was somewhere between the Patriots' 20 and the 49ers' zero. He did show a few flashes of the 'nerd's knowledge' he professes to have of football. . . . But Miller also mixed in so many one-liners that ABC might need to bring in Jenna Elfman, who played drums with Bob Dylan on an episode of Dharma and Greg, to provide rim shots." — Houston Chronicle
"Miller gave an uneven performance during the preseason Hall of Fame Game between the San Francisco 49ers and New England Patriots, mixing witty non-sequiturs with on-the-job training." — Associated Press
"This is gonna take a buncha top-grade, heavy-duty sandpaper to smooth out, because saying this broadcast has some rough edges is a gross understatement.
"Miller might only be part of the reclamation project, but he'll unfortunately get the most attention." — Los Angeles Daily News
"Dennis Miller sounded like a comedian doing a football game Monday. He had some good one-liners and some not so good ones in his debut. . . . Miller tried to sound authoritative in talking serious football. But every time he put on his analyst cap, the feeling was, why am I listening to this guy? Your buddy Joe knows as much or more. All in all, it was an awkward broadcast, hardly befitting the buzz and hype that came along with Miller's hiring." — Chicago Tribune
"Dennis Miller was funny on 'Saturday Night Live' He's funny on HBO. He's not funny on 'Monday Night Football'. Not Monday night, anyway. He wasn't entertaining or enlightening, either. Instead of being a laugh-and-a-half, Miller didn't provide even one laugh in the first half. Unless you happened to be laughing at him, rather than with him." — The Providence Journal
Not that the reviews were universally negative (just mostly):
"He did everything the critics said he would: Make inexplicable references, trip over his words, laugh reflexively at his jokes, interrupt referees. And he did everything his supporters said he would: Make inexplicable references, joke, laugh, and act generally like an excited fan, detoxifying the high Mass that football too often becomes. . . . He'll be good, once he overcomes his own insecurities, and once we, as viewers, overcome our own. It was jarring to see Miller break the solemn illusion of the telecast, to joke about needing a Shiatsu massage before halftime, to render the conservative realm of broadcast sport forever post-modern." — Akron Beacon Journal
The suits at ABC Sports should be all smiles today. They can pick up newspapers, listen to the radio and watch TV, where the chatter will be about 'Monday Night Football' — on Aug. 1. The big buzz will be all about last night's debut of comedian Dennis Miller, who joined Al Michaels and Dan Fouts calling the Patriots-49ers preseason game. More important than the buzz was one element of Miller's performance that cut through all the hype associated with his move into a football broadcast booth. The man was likable. Very likable." — New York Daily News
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com