TAYLORSVILLE — THIS IS A STORY about The Smell.
It's about Taylorsville residents who say they don't want to raise a stink, but they're tired of their nagging nostrils, weary of being overwhelmed by an odoriferous problem that is obnoxiously persistent.
At first, Eileen Davis thought The Smell came from her neighbor's curious habit of burning toast each morning.
He would set the toaster outside, pop in a slice of bread, char it and then gobble it down.
Then his house caught fire and he moved away.
The Smell didn't.
The Smell behaves sort of like your traditional in-laws. It shows up without notice, a few times a week, and stays longer than Davis and the others would like.
Mostly, it's a morning intruder, seeping into the neighborhood without warning, lingering for a couple of hours before it moves on.
It is, all agree, difficult to describe The Smell.
"It's not something you want to smell," Debra James says. "It's more pungent and smelly than a regular smell."
For some time, James blamed it on fast food restaurants not far away.
"I thought it was the ovens just starting up, but I don't know if that's it or not."
Davis, James and others who know of The Smell live just west of Redwood Road at about 4200 South.
When they started examining the neighborhood for clues and looking at the neighbors, they came to an unappetizing theory about the source of The Smell.
Maybe it wasn't the restaurant ovens at all but perhaps the much larger oven of a crematorium operating less than a block away.
"It was always a weird smell, and I always wondered what in the world it was," Sue Harrison said. "It doesn't smell like burnt toast to me. I don't particularly care for the smell, but now that I think it is bodies, suddenly it's taken on a whole new meaning."
Davis had what she described as her extra "sensitive sniffer" turned on Friday, a day when many said The Smell was in its full glory.
"I thought 'Oh, oh, someone is going up in smoke.' "
Gerald Newlon, who runs the two crematoriums in the Taylorsville neighborhood, knows all about The Smell.
"Oh, yes, I smelled it today," he said Friday.
But he's quick to point out that any theory or accusation that The Smell is coming from his business is — well, someone just blowing smoke.
He says it is from a nearby coffeehouse.
"It's coffee beans. They burn their beans off early in the morning, and you get this burnt smell."
Newlon said the coffeehouse was also named as the culprit by officials with the state's Division of Air Quality Control who came sniffing around at the first of the summer.
"They came out and tested The Smell," Newlon said. "We weren't even cremating at the time, and they found out it was the coffee bean smell."
His crematoriums have two afterburners in place that are designed to kick on if any fine dust starts to travel the smokestacks, Newlon said.
"The only thing coming out of our stacks is heat fumes."
Newlon said they rebuilt his crematoriums just this year and had them tested for the level of possible pollutants going into the air.
The state said he was well within the rules, Newlon said.
"These new crematories are so calibrated, you don't even see the smoke. You certainly don't get an odor. They're operating at between 1,600 and 1,800 degrees."
But, Newlon acknowledged, it certainly isn't anything new for his business to get blamed for The Smell.
"We always get blamed for any grass fire or stray odor," he said. "I say we get maybe a call a month; even the fire department gets a call. But if people start smelling for burnt coffee beans, they will recognize The Smell immediately."
Davis, when told the explanation, wasn't entirely convinced burnt beans are to blame and says she will continue to sniff out other possible sources.
"Coffee doesn't smell like that to me."
E-mail: amyjoi@desnews.com