I polled the kids after dinner the other night, starting with the eldest (12), asking how many stars the restaurant we'd just eaten at rated. Kyle thought a moment and then said, "Five stars."
Wow, I thought, this kid doesn't get out much.
Then my daughter said five stars, too. Then my next son said 100!
"No, kids," I said, challenging them. "Think of the best pizza you've ever eaten and compare it to that."
Still, high marks all around.
What can I say?
The point of this week's review is, sometimes there are places that are worth taking the family to simply because they're so low cost, regardless of whether they're your favorite places.
I should say that I didn't have a bad time, it's just that it wasn't my best-ever dinner.
I took my family to the pizza buffet called Eatza Pizza. There are three locations, in Orem, West Jordan and Ogden — all cleverly situated in neighborhoods thick with large families.
Everyone loves pizza, right? Well, what better way to enjoy it than all-you-can-eat, by the slice? Well, I say as long as it's good pizza, that's every parents dream night out with the family, especially if it's inexpensive, too.
On the Pioneer Day holiday, the dining room of the West Jordan store was full to the gills with all ages, but especially kids. The long utilitarian bar, lined with pizzas of all varieties, was tightly packed. Same with the small dessert and salad bars and a soda fountain.
Zowie, I thought, what hideous world had I walked into? Not that I'm above a good buffet, but there's just something about it that makes the social creatures we humans are seem somewhat less than civil. There tend to be favorites in the bar, and the kitchen is racing to keep up, and hungry pizza eaters are barely keeping at bay until the next good pie arrives.
I found that the best pies were the popular ones, mostly because the slower movers had lost their crispy, steamy edge and had gone soggy. The crust at Eatza is just too doughy to hold up over time.
My favorites were the barbecue chicken, the plain cheese and the taco style. That last one was a little odd for a pizza, but it really did work. It had a thin layer of refried beans, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes — and, believe it or not, Fritos corn chips! The secret, though, as I said, is to get that one piping hot.
We also tried Eatza's hot and barbecue wings. I liked the barbecue ones, dressed very lightly with a mild, sweet sauce.
Salad is very basic. Half a dozen or so toppings, a huge bowl of iceberg mix and four choices for dressing. Like the pizza, it's endless and is included in the whole buffet price.
Ditto for dessert, which is three varieties of sweet pizza (apple, cherry, and cinnamon). Like the taco, these are best hot. That's really not a problem, since they're popular, and you have to get a hot slice if you're going to get one at all. My favorite was the cinnamon.
I wasn't crazy about Eatza's red sauce. It tastes very plain. It seems to be what goes into the baked ziti as well. I also wasn't crazy about the bread sticks. They tasted as if they'd been double rolled in garlic salt.
Eatza Pizza has a lot of things going for it, despite some mediocre selections. You can feed your kids for the same price as a happy meal, and you even have the chance to get a little salad into them.
When I asked Kyle why the five stars, he said without hesitation: "Because you can eat so much for cheap!" He's starting to get the picture, I think, but I wonder if all-you-can-eat makes food taste better to kids.
Cost of the adult buffet, including salad, dessert and pizza bar, is $3.99; cost of the children's buffet, with the same items, is $1.99.
Eatza Pizza
** 1/2 (out of five)
Hours: Monday-Thursday 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Friday and Saturday 11 a.m.-10 p.m.
Location: 3078 W. 7800 South, 561-4494
Other services: take-out
Payment: checks, major credit cards
Reservations: none needed
E-MAIL: stephanie@desnews.com