ORONO, Minn. — Pat Proft wasn't trying to offend when he wrote a scene for "Scary Movie 3" with Mother Teresa bobbleheads — nor when he had the Secret Service blow a hole through a wall-size picture of her so a befuddled U.S. president could escape from the White House.
"I'm never out to offend anybody. It's just that it sounded funny to me — to blow a hole through the face of the woman who is for peace and love," says the screenwriter, a Catholic school alum. "It's like I always want to put in a movie where 'That Gandhi kid is beating me up again.' I always wanted to put that line in something — 'the Gandhi bully.' "
Proft's string of hits over the past two decades includes "Police Academy," "Hot Shots!" and the "Naked Gun" spoofs. He co-wrote "Scary Movie 3," a parody that's scared up more than $100 million at the box office in four weeks.
"Scary Movie 3" continues the series of horror movie sendups started by the Wayans Brothers in their surprise 2000 hit "Scary Movie."
Critics have panned "Scary Movie 3" for its flying body parts and kicks to the groin. But Proft says the groin-kicks are there for a reason: "People laughed at it."
Proft, gray-haired at 56 yet boyish-looking, starts each day with a run before retreating to write in the cozy basement of his home in this Twin Cities suburb.
He keeps office hours and wears a jacket and tie when he writes. "Because I'm at work. This is work," he explains.
For Proft, no form of low-brow humor is too low. A fan of comedy greats Laurel and Hardy, the Marx Brothers and the "Road" pictures of Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, Proft also admires Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider — comic actors usually disdained by critics.
Proft had an early love of slapstick and physical humor. He'd make up comedies using toy cowboys or pretending his toy soldiers were Laurel and Hardy.
"I had no thought about being a fireman or a policeman or a cowboy. It was always to be in movies somehow," he says.
Being a class clown in a school where the nuns were "punchers and hitters" also helped Proft hone his comedic skills, he says.
After graduating from high school in 1965, Proft spent the next three years at Dudley Riggs' Brave New Workshop, the Minneapolis sketch-comedy theater that also helped launch the careers of Al Franken and Mo Collins ("MADtv").
"I'd use a lot of stuff that I did at Dudley's in movies," says Proft, who has had cameos such as lounge singer Lawrence Lipps in 1991's "Hot Shots!"
In 1972, Proft went to Los Angeles to be in a show featuring other former Dudley Riggs performers. It folded opening night, but he decided to stay and do standup at The Comedy Store.
It was there that Proft met Jim Abrahams and brothers David and Jerry Zucker, founders of the satirical Kentucky Fried Theatre revue. Proft joined the group, which led to his working with the ZAZ team that created the "Airplane!" (1980) and "Top Secret!" (1984) movie spoofs and the short-lived "Police Squad!" TV series.
Proft also found work writing for TV variety shows such as Dick Van Dyke's 1970s show "Van Dyke and Co."
In 1984, Proft teamed up with Neal Israel to write "Police Academy," starring Steve Guttenberg and Kim Cattrall in a comedy about misfit police recruits. (It spawned six sequels, none of which involved Proft.)
But Proft's biggest score came in 1988, with "The Naked Gun." The ZAZ team revived Leslie Nielsen's dense detective character of Lt. Frank Drebin from the "Police Squad!" series for the movie and its two sequels.
"When I wrote the 'Guns,' I was writing for Humphrey Bogart . . . that kind of patter. And he does it perfect," Proft says of Nielsen.
Nielsen is also complimentary about Proft, who made his directing debut with 1998's "Wrongfully Accused" starring Nielsen in a Proft-written spoof of "The Fugitive," "Mission: Impossible," "Braveheart" and other movies.
"He did an absolutely superior job," Nielsen says. "He was very good. He's a lovely person to hang out with and to be around and that rubs off on his work."
One movie experience for Proft was not a good one, however. He co-wrote 1997's "Mr. Magoo," based on the nearsighted cartoon character and starring Nielsen, but later disavowed the movie. ("I don't know if it deserved to be a movie," Proft says.)
Besides negotiating to write the inevitable "Scary Movie 4," Proft would like someday to do a straight drama. He's been "noodling away" on a movie about a serial killer in World War II London who uses the Blitz to get away with murder.
Pat Proft movie, TV credits
Pat Proft's writing and acting credits include:
MOVIES
"Police Academy" (co-writer), 1984
"Bachelor Party" (co-writer), 1984
"Real Genius" (co-writer), 1985
"Moving Violations" (co-writer), 1985
"Lucky Stiff" (writer/executive producer), 1988
"The Naked Gun" (co-writer), 1988
"Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear" (co-writer), 1991
"Hot Shots!" (co-writer/executive producer), 1991
"Brain Donors" (writer), 1992
"Hot Shots! Part Deux" (co-writer/executive producer), 1993
"Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult" (co-writer), 1994
"High School High" (co-writer), 1996
"Mr. Magoo" (co-writer), 1997
"Wrongfully Accused" (writer/director/producer), 1998
"Scary Movie 3' (co-writer), 2003
TELEVISION
"The Smothers Brothers Show" (writing and acting)
"When Things Were Rotten"
"Van Dyke and Co." (writing and acting)
"Police Squad!"
"Fernwood 2-Night"
"The Redd Foxx Show"
"Welcome Back, Kotter"
"The Carol Burnett Show"
"The Star Wars Holiday Special" (co-writer), 1978
ACTING
"Tunnel Vision," skipper, 1976
"Fast Friends," Bill Owens, 1979 (TV movie)
"Detective School," Leo Frick, 1979 (TV series)
"Modern Problems," maitre d', 1981
"Bachelor Party," screaming man, 1984
"Hot Shots!," Lawrence Lipps, 1991
"Wrongfully Accused," window technician, 1998