HOLLYWOOD — Michael Essany creeps me out.
It's just that I'm not sure that there's a real person inside the teenage talk-show host wannabe. Oh, he seems like a nice enough guy, but he appears to be a product of pop culture and waaaaaaay too much time spent in front of the TV. So much so that he's sort of, well, creepy; he just doesn't seem real.
Which is not what I was expecting when Essany was introduced to TV critics. The idea for the E! cable network's "Michael Essany Show," which premieres Sunday at 11:30 p.m., sounded like fun. Here's this 19-year-old who's been hosting a cable-access talk show from his home in Valparaiso, Ind., since he was 14.
And he's managed to get some big-name guests to show up in his parents' living room, including former President Gerald Ford, Kevin Bacon, Jewel, Sinbad, Weird Al Yankovic, Ray Romano, Katie Couric, Ed McMahon, Timothy Dalton and Carrot Top.
The E! show is a behind-the-scenes look at how Essany, his mother and father put the show on, combined with bits of the cable-access show itself. "It's like 'The Tonight Show' meets 'Survivor,' " Essany said.
But Essany himself comes off as a parody, not only of a late-night host, but of a person. At first, it seemed as if he was in character as a Johnny Carson-come-lately, but it increasingly became apparent that the kid has become the character — that even in casual conversation he's a Carson clone. And it's, well, creepy.
"I've always said if talk-show hosting was a sport, Johnny Carson would be the MVP," Essany said. "Carson is my idol. I watch Letterman and Leno to study their craft and also observe the competition.
"By no means have I ever intended to escalate a late-night cold war. . . . I've tried to hone my craft on a local level but with national figures, and hope that some of their greatness will rub off."
Essany carries a disturbing echo of the 1983 movie "King of Comedy," in which a struggling comedian/aspiring late-night host (Robert De Niro) kidnaps a Carson-esque character (Jerry Lewis). But Essany can't quite see the similarity.
"There's a difference between love and obsession, I believe," he said. "Jay Leno is not in my basement right now, if that's what you're getting at. Although we'll see what happens in the first year if we need stuff for ratings."
Essany is so glib, so polished, so practiced and so supremely confident that he's unreal. His manner is, well, sort of creepy.
Don't get me wrong. I admire Essany's determination. I think what he's been able to accomplish is amazing.
But he ought to think about having a real life before he becomes submerged in a TV persona. Although it might already be too late for that.
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com