'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, all the creatures were stirring, including the mouse. Season's greetings to all my best friends and your parents!
Are you getting excited? Are you listening for sleigh bells and asking yourself, "What surprises are in store for me this year?" Well, I'm sure that your mom and dad are being careful about their selections and making certain that there are no real bones for Boo and no chocolate for Buster. I know some of your parents treat you like humans and want to satisfy what they think is a chocolate tooth. But turn it down flat. That stuff is toxic to pets. And keep your tongue off the poinsettia, too. That pretty posy is poison, too. In fact, regardless of what humans leave around, keep your paws, wings and hoofs off the holiday stuff.
By now, I hope your parents have learned that a sudden change in your diet to people food like turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, chocolate pie and more can cause you to have a giant upset system, and that can cause you to have accidents everywhere. Embarrassing! So stay away from the rich tidbits, regardless of who sneaks them under the table.
Now if you're a young one, I know you puppies will put anything in your mouths, including things you can choke on, like ribbon and tiny decorations. Fur Ball can get into trouble, too. Ever hear the phrase "Curiosity killed the cat"? Just remember: safety first. And absolutely no alcohol!
If you think you're going to play with any of the holiday decorations, you are barking or clawing up the wrong tree. If you're a lucky pooch and you are really good, your mom and dad will give you some challenging educational toys. And here's a scoop! Don't be surprised if you are kept in a safe place during the holidays — like a fenced-off area, a special room or a new kennel — while people are coming and going. It's for your own safety. Besides, a little quiet now and then is wonderful.
If you are a kitty, a bunny, a reptile or another fascinating creature, don't be surprised if you, too, are provided with a safe haven away from all the visiting kids and grown-ups that can stress you out. Just be thankful your family has considered your fears and stress levels and found a nice, quiet, happy, warm and cozy place away from all the hullabaloo! Be sure to remind them to provide ample water and toys and all your favorite things.
If you want to know what to suggest to Santa to put in your stocking, in addition to some new tennis balls or fabulous pink faux mice, ask for a new kitty harness or doggy leash, grooming accessories like the Zoom Groom by Kong, and a new pet toothbrush and pet toothpaste.
For those of you who have asked what to get Mom and Dad, I've got a couple of suggestions. If you're an untrained wagger, sign up for training, or get some training books and videos (hint, hint!). And get them a nice music CD — one they can let you listen to when you're home alone.
So here's my wish for a safe, happy and stressless holiday season to all you woofers, meowers, peepers, hissers, neighers, squeakers and hee-hawers!
Uncle Matty's proud!
Woof!
—Uncle Matty
Dog trainer Matthew "Uncle Matty" Margolis is co-author of 18 books about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and host of the PBS series "WOOF! It's a Dog's Life!" Send your questions to dearuncle.gazetteunclematty.com or mail to Uncle Matty at P.O. Box 3300, Diamond Springs, CA 95619. © Creators Syndicate Inc.