There's more filler than substance in "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." And that's really saying something — specifically, that the makers of this girl-power comedy chose to pad it out with musical numbers, supposedly comedic-but-actually-just-silly interludes and fantasy sequences, rather than concentrating on story, character and logic.
In the end, that makes a film that's less than 90 minutes long feel considerably longer. This bit of fluff is unlikely to appeal to anyone outside of its obvious, intended target audience.
As such, it's a real disappointment, considering the track record star Lindsay Lohan, whose remakes of "The Parent Trap" and "Freaky Friday" were considerably better than this.
Lohan plays the title character, Mary "Lola" Cep, whose family has just moved from New York City to New Jersey. She's mortified and is taking it out on her mother (Glenne Headly). But soon enough, Lola has a new best friend (Alison Pill) and a new target for her ire — fellow student Carla Santini (Megan Fox), the most popular girl in her new school. The two teens begin feuding, with predictable results. Suffice it to say this movie is so clueless it seems to believe that it's an updated version of "Pygmalion" titled "Eliza Rocks!" — which would actually be a better idea.
Director Sara Sugarman doesn't seem particularly interested in trying to tell a story here. Instead, she fills the screen with cutesy visuals that can only divert your attention for so long.
As for Lohan, she seems to be on cruise control. It doesn't help that the character she's playing is sort of unlikable — particularly when she's whining to her far-too-understanding mother and even lying to her best friend.
"Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" is rated PG for scenes of slapstick violence (pratfalls and a brief catfight), as well as some mildly vulgar humor (including a bird-droppings gag). Running time: 86 minutes.
E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com