Ed Palubinskas, shot doctor to the stars, was on the case the instant his cell phone rang.
"Everybody's calling. Everybody," he said in rapid-fire delivery.
"Everybody's saying, 'Oh, my goodness, why isn't he working with you?' "
Why isn't Palubinskas working again on Shaquille O'Neal's free throw problem?
"I got a feeling (the Lakers are) gonna blow it at the line this year," said Palubinskas. "I got a horrible feeling that's gonna happen unless Kobe carries the whole load."
And unless Shaq Daddy gives the shot doctor a call.
"I could fix that at halftime," said Palubinskas. "I need just a few days. Shaq doesn't need to practice anything. If he just went out on the floor with confidence, it would make all the difference in the world, and maybe it would mean a championship."
Kobe, Karl and Gary could use a dose of Dr. Eddie's Elixir as well.
"I could help all of 'em in a couple of days," he said. "I could fix them right away, absolutely. That's what I am — a surgeon. I repair people with shooting problems. I don't have a problem. I shoot 98.6 percent — 99 percent for 20 years, actually. I missed three free throws in 18 years of (shooting) competition. I won every event I ever entered."
Perhaps this is good time to pause and catch our breath — something Eddie P seldom does — and offer introductions. Palubinskas is the Canberra, Australia, native and former East High coach who now lives in Baton Rouge. By day he runs his own tile mosaic business. But his passion is shooting accuracy. As evidence, he notes that in March he made the Guinness Book of World Records, sinking 867 of 880 free throws in 60 minutes, using no rebounder.
Next up, he says, is the world 3-point record.
"I may go for the half-court record, too," he said.
If you haven't guessed already, Palubinskas isn't lacking for confidence. He's the Tony Robbins of shooting. Just ask (or not) and he'll tell you of his newest invention: a basketball called the "Smart Ball," which includes instructions on how to hold, shoot and release, imprinted on the ball.
"It's the biggest invention in the history of basketball for shooters," he said ever-so-modestly.
"Nowadays," he continued, "you get a coach and he's probably never made 100 free throws in a row — ever. He's lucky if he made 10. So it's the blind leading the blind."
Enter Palubinskas, a man on a mission.
This isn't the first time Palubinskas has been mentioned along with the Lakers' center. In 2000-2001 he worked with the notoriously poor-shooting O'Neal most of the season. Although O'Neal's numbers didn't improve that year, they went up notably the next two years — for which Palubinskas isn't ashamed to take credit.
But after that season, he never heard from his famous client or the Lakers. No notes, no calls, nothing. According to Palubinskas, O'Neal's technique eventually eroded. Through the first three playoff games this year, he was shooting just 32 percent from the line; by Thursday's tip-off he had improved to a still-dismal 37 percent. Thursday, he was back to his old tricks, making just one of five. He made only 49 percent during the regular season, his worst since 1996-97 and third worst of his career.
Still, says Palubinskas, even at this late date he could get the Lakers a championship. He would go to work on the big guy's forearm positioning, which has been fluctuating. He'd have him lift the ball higher and re-teach him to cock his wrist.
Most of all he'd work on confidence, which Palubinskas says isn't as good as Shaq makes it sound.
That's all hypothetical, though, until the Lakers call.
But would he agree to help after being ignored for three years?
"Sure I would. But it's gonna cost 'em," said Eddie P.
Doctors don't work cheap.
"It's an ongoing saga," he said. "Shaq's my student, he's ill and he needs repair."
He needs the shot doctor. Stat!
E-mail: rock@desnews.com