Forget a box of chocolates.
For Karl Malone, life — and one's career — is like the tool of his trade.
"If you drop the basketball from the ceiling," he said, "it will bounce high, then lower, lower, and come to a roll, come to a stop."
On Sunday, Malone's ball ceased bouncing.
The 18-year Jazz star formally announced his retirement after 19 NBA seasons, suggesting during a packed Delta Center news conference that he can live without moving from No. 2 and past Kareem Abdul-Jabbar into first place on the league's all-time scoring list — but that he will go to his grave with only one real regret.
"When I got drafted 13th," said Malone, who was selected by Utah out of Louisiana Tech in 1985, "that meant 12 other teams didn't have a lot of faith in my ability. So I said in my mind then that I wasn't coming here for personal accolade.
"All records," he added, "are not —and I repeat — all records are not made to be broken."
Besides, Malone said, Abdul-Jabbar's record 38,387 points mark personal achievement. Winning a title is about team play, so that is what Malone decided to focus on after feeling slighted like he did.
The Jazz made it to the NBA Finals twice, in 1997 and '98. Those seasons, Malone said, represent the most fun he had while playing.
Both times, though, Utah lost to Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls. To this day, that fact churns in Malone's washboard stomach.
"The thing that would stick with me for the rest of our life," he said, "is not winning a championship. I'm not going to lie to you. That was my ultimate goal."
Beyond that, Malone would change nothing.
Not his intense and mercurial relationship with Jazz owner Larry H. Miller. Not what he said and did during 18 seasons here, or one with the Los Angeles Lakers. And certainly not how he played for Jazz coach Jerry Sloan.
"I don't think he realizes how much he means to me," Malone said of Sloan, "as a human being, and as a person."
Sloan on occasion would find himself caught between Malone and Miller, the two at times feuding like two brothers forced to share one Christmas gift.
Each time, though, Miller and Malone found a way to resolve their differences.
"I don't care what people think. I don't care about all those spats we had. I don't care about any of that," Malone said. "Because we (he and Miller) have a pact with each other: No matter what's said or done, we'll pick up that telephone, and we'll say what we think about it, and we'll go on."
So they have, time and time again.
"There were a few moments along the way I probably wouldn't have described as a good experience," Miller said, "but the good outweighed the bad remarkably.
"In spite of the ups and downs," the Jazz owner added, "my relationship with Karl - besides family - has been one of the very-most special relationships in my life. I'm not sure it hasn't been the single-most special relationship in my life."
Miller recalled a day early in Malone's career, when the two sat and talked in the parking lot of a Wendy's restaurant in Murray - from about 10 at night until 1 in the morning.
"The main topic of conversation was about him, and his learning and growing experiences," a weeping Miller said. "He had a lot of concern about whether he'd ever a meet a young lady . . . who would marry him for him, and not because he was a famous NBA basketball player or had a lot of money.
"Kay," Miller added, "resoundingly answered that question."
During a news conference that lasted so long it had a halftime — timeout was taken for a live interview on national television — Malone thanked everyone from his wife to ex-teammates and even the NBA's referees.
Yet he did so with dry eyes.
"I cried at 'Free Willy' when he got free. I'm very emotional," Malone said. "Today is not that day. Today is a day for me to say thanks to a lot of people."
Listening in was a crowd representing the gamut of Utahns who watched Malone toil over the years, from Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr., to former University of Utah and current Weber State head football coach Ron McBride ("People might not like this," Malone said, "but Mac, you got a raw deal"), to Wally, the super-friendly Delta Center usher who'd shake the hands of Malone's children each time they'd enter the arena.
He thanked Miller and his wife, Gail, for "seeing something in this kid from Louisiana that maybe I didn't see in myself." He thanked Sloan "for continuing to run . . . pick-and-rolls." He thanked Kay, "for being there for me on those rough days." He thank his children, "for going through the mood changes with their dad."
"People talk about rings?" Malone said. "I have six rings. They're my wife, and kids."
He thanked Frank Layden and Dave Checketts and Howard Eisley and Mark Eaton and Tyrone Corbin and Matt Harpring and Jeff Hornacek and Adrian Dantley and Darrell Griffith.
He thanked his detractors, "because I drew strength and energy off you, from you saying I could not do things."
He of course had kind words for John Stockton: "I wish he would have played another year here," Malone said. "I would have played another year with him. I love him."
The biggest thanks of all, though, went to the Jazz faithful.
"Most importantly," Malone said, "I would like to say thanks to the fans, for allowing me to grow as a man."
The one thing Malone did not do, though, was apologize.
For anything.
"The good, the bad, whatever you call it — I wouldn't change a thing," he said. "Things I said, I've thought about if I meant them. I don't take them back. Things that was done, I grew from it."
That included his decision to leave Utah for Los Angeles to play a season with the Lakers, making one last title chase with a cast of new teammates including Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant.
"I would do it over again," Malone said. "I would not change that experience for nothing. I think that made me grow as a human more than anything."
After the Lakers lost to Detroit in last year's Finals, Malone underwent knee surgery.
He was tempted to retire then, but was advised instead to wait until he was fully healthy. Several teams expressed interest this season, and San Antonio was one he flirted with most.
All that time, though, Malone couldn't get over the fact that if his career did resume it would be with his mother, Shirley, watching from overhead.
She died in the summer of 2003, and it seems no coincidence that Sunday — the day Malone choose to finally announce his retirement — would have been her 67th birthday.
"When I lost my Mom," he said, "I lost a piece of me that could never be replaced. So, that's why I know the time was now. No matter what team I played with or went to, I could
not give you 100 percent mentally."
The decision was sealed just more than a week ago, as Malone left San Antonio following a meeting with Spurs coach Gregg Popovich and Spurs star Tim Duncan.
"When I got on the plane," he said, "I knew I was done."
Unlike Jordan, who has un-retired twice, there is no turning back.
"I am totally at peace with my decision," Malone said.
"When I said I retired from basketball-playing, I have retired," he added. "You will not see me play again. That is a promise. . . . There will be no unbelievable comebacks. Seen that, didn't like that, won't do that."
What will Malone do?
For starters — if it's possible, which considering Malone's personality may be a reach — he'll step away from the spotlight.
"Kim Turner (the Jazz's longtime public-relations man) used to always say, 'Boy, I'm making you famous,' " Malone said. "But you know what? I don't want to be famous anymore."
Possibilities, though, are endless.
"I'm not retiring from work," he said. "I'm retiring from playing basketball."
There is his timber company to run, back at the ranch in Arkansas. Movie roles have been offered. ABC recently offered Malone a TV job. The Lakers have offered him a front-office position. Other teams have called. Or he might just hang around the Jazz, watching — perhaps even helping - Sloan coach.
"I think big," Malone said.
"I (would) like the opportunity, maybe, to . . . be part-owner of a team."
Much is uncertain. Some is not.
Though their Salt Lake City house is for sale, the Malones plan to buy another home in Utah - and re-plant at least some roots here.
In April, Malone will drive a racecar, fire-suit and all, in a celebrity grand prix. There will be more time behind the wheel of his monster truck. Family time, too.
"I'm not in a hurry to make a decision," Malone said. "Just like I wasn't in a hurry making this decision, I'm not going to be in a hurry making another decision."
This one was tough enough — on everyone, including Miller, whose words express more sentiment than any piece of candy ever could.
"The true sadness for me . . . is in the NBA," Miller said. "Where do the Karl Malone's come from now? They broke the mold.
"I love you."
E-mail: tbuckley@desnews.com