MURRAY — Real Salt Lake players have jumped on board first lady Mary Kaye Huntsman's effort to protect youths against dating violence as part of the Power in You mentoring program.
The program is, in part, an effort to provide positive role models for adolescent boys while raising awareness and preventing dating violence. It kicked off at a Murray High School press conference Monday.
"There are stories all around about dating violence and abuse — you hear it, you see it, and it's really an honor to be in a program that fights against it," said Real player Leslie Fitzpatrick.
Ten years ago Sarah Southerland, author and abuse prevention advocate, said she found herself in a dangerous relationship with a man she had married after two months of dating.
She said during her four-month marriage she was slapped, punched, raped, dragged by her hair, starved, spat on, beaten with a baseball bat and with a golf club. She was finally able to escape and return to her parents.
"I had been beaten, manipulated and severely abused, and I was only 19 years old," Southerland said. "But I didn't know that him wanting to be with me all the time, to know where I was, who I was with, were hallmarks of an abusive personality and not one of a lovesick schoolboy."
"His moodiness, his angry outbursts, his yelling, his groping, his mistrust in my friends and his hatred of my family — these were all warning signs," she said.
Looking back, Southerland was able to recognize those signs and said she looks at the initiative as an effort to inform students how to avoid and prevent dating and domestic violence.
"I didn't realize till much later that we have the power within us to prevent this abuse," Southerland said. "Through this program I believe Utah teens will have a far better chance at avoiding and preventing abuse and making sure there is not another 'Sarah.' "
Ned Searledirector of the Office of Violence Against Women and Families, said each year one-third to 50 percent of all homicides are domestic violence-related. And dating violence is one of the fastest-growing and most violent crimes in the state of Utah.
"Some researchers believe the patterns of violence are taught to children inside the home," Searle said. "From there they carry those patterns into their relationships, to their neighborhood, to their school and then eventually into dating."
Huntsman said the message she wants to get out is the importance of building healthy relationships, letting victims know it is not their fault.
"They have not done anything wrong to deserve this treatment, and no matter what, no one is justified in attacking you," she said. "We want to teach them to stand up to this behavior and know that they're worth more than being verbally, physically and sexually abused."
Power in You is also joining forces with Teaching Utah's Future Fathers, a program within the Office on Violence Against Women and Families, to focus attention on the importance of taking responsibility for individual actions and how they affect others.
"All over there are messages about what it means to be a man — that boys have to be tough, strong and in control," Huntsman said. "And there are conflicting and sometimes harmful messages being given in our society to boys about what constitutes being a man."
Real Salt Lake players plan to step up as role models and visit schools, sharing with students ways in which they can make positive decisions in respecting one another.
"There is a big correlation between teen dating violence and domestic violence," said Barbara Higgins, a child victims advocate. "So where we have teen dating violence happening it is usually brought into marriages — we feel like we need to target teen dating violence in order to try and cut down domestic violence."
For more information on Power in You, visit powerinyou.org.
E-mail: terickson@desnews.com