THE SHAGGY DOG — * 1/2 — Tim Allen, Robert Downey Jr., Kristin Davis; rated PG (vulgarity, violence, drugs, mild profanity).
The latest remake of the much-filmed Disney concept "The Shaggy Dog" tries to mine humor from animal testing, which should tell you everything you need to know about this one.
Not only is this comic fantasy clueless about what a bad idea it is to make fun of such a decidedly unfunny concept, it's also desperately low-brow, much more so than any of the previous incarnations.
In fact, about the only thing it doesn't stoop to — thankfully — is dog-doo jokes. They probably just forgot.
The film also finds several talented performers slumming, led by Tim Allen, who stars as Dave Douglas, a workaholic deputy district attorney.
He's supposed to prosecute a popular high school teacher (Joshua Leonard) who is accused of setting a fire in a research lab. That's put Dave at odds with his teenage daughter, Carly (Zena Grey), who supports her instructor and even helped rescue one of the test animals, a sheepdog. She brings the pooch home, not knowing that it is actually a nearly immortal Tibetan.
Dave and the new stray take an immediate dislike to one another, and when the pooch bites him on the hand, the injury causes Dave to start acting like an animal himself, and later he wakes up in the form of a nearly identical sheepdog. Meanwhile, a mad scientist named Kozak (Robert Downey Jr.) is trying to find the hound so he can isolate the cause of the animal's longevity.
This dim-witted, uninspired material offers little for the appealing supporting cast. Kristin Davis, who plays Dave's neglected wife, serves as straight man to several unfunny Allen gags, and it's unclear why Danny Glover is even in the film, beyond picking up a paycheck.
Allen's one memorable contribution to the film comes toward the end, when he utters his infamous "To infinity and beyond!" catch phrase from the "Toy Story" movies. However, all that does is remind us of how much better and more inspired the "Toy Story" films are — and how much we'd rather be watching them.
"The Shaggy Dog" is rated PG for crude humor and gags relating to animal behavior and bodily functions, supposedly comic violence (some slapstick, animal shenanigans and some automotive mayhem), some drug content (use of hypodermic needles, mostly), and scattered use of mild profanity (religiously based). Running time: 99 minutes.
E-mail: jeff@desnews.com