SMOKIN' ACES — * — Ryan Reynolds, Jeremy Piven, Andy Garcia; rated R (violence, profanity, vulgarity, gore, drugs, nudity, torture, racial epithets).
You might think that all of the television, film and music stars who appear in "Smokin' Aces" might at least make the movie watchable.
But you'd be wrong.
If anything, the sight of such talented people as Alicia Keys, Jason Bateman, Nestor Carbonell, Matthew Fox and Alex Rocco — among many others — humiliating themselves in small cameo roles only makes this dark comic thriller more unpleasant and unwatchable.
"Smokin' Aces" is so wildly overplotted that trying to follow the various double-crosses and twists and turns becomes wearying. The film's title refers to Buddy "Aces" Israel, played by Jeremy Piven. He's a Las Vegas entertainer-turned-mobster who's agreed to testify against another prominent mafioso leader.
Word quickly circulates that the mob has put out a $1 million contract on Buddy's life. So his Lake Tahoe hiding place becomes the convergence point for assorted assassins and other lowlifes trying to collect the reward for a successful "hit."
There are also an unfortunate pair of FBI agents (Ray Liotta and Ryan Reynolds) who have been assigned to deal with all of this and who are also supposed to take Buddy into protective custody.
Screenwriter/director Joe Carnahan employs a lurid look and style that are more reminiscent of the films of Guy Ritchie ("Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels") than his own cop-thriller "Narc."
Even the stars seem to realize it's not working. The pivotal dramatic scene here involves Andy Garcia and Reynolds, neither of whom is quite able to keep a straight face. Not that you can blame them.
The only person who really emerges unscathed is Ben Affleck, believe it or not, who plays a bail bondsman who is also trying to locate Buddy — primarily because his character is killed off just minutes into the movie.
"Smokin' Aces" is rated R for strong scenes of violence (mostly shootings, stabbings and assorted mayhem), strong sexual language (profanity, vulgarity), some fairly graphic gore, drug content (cocaine use and references, as well as hypodermic use), female nudity, a brief scene of torture, and use of slurs based on race and ethnicity. Running time: 109 minutes.
E-mail: jeff@desnews.com