HOUSTON — While Rockets All-Star Tracy McGrady was busy scoring 22 of his 23 points during Saturday night's second half of Game 1 in the first-round NBA playoff series between Houston and Utah, the Jazz's Andrei Kirilenko spent all but about seven minutes waiting on the bench.
Waiting to go back in.
And wondering.
Wondering why he sat for so long.
And stewing.
Oh, was he ever stewing.
Late Sunday morning, all the waiting and wondering and, yes, even the stewing, caught up with Kirilenko — so much so it began to seep out in a flood of emotion, tears welling and trickling too quickly for a towel to dab them all as he spoke about playing so little in the Jazz's 84-75 loss.
"I mean, when you don't play and when you can help your team," Kirilenko said, "it is disappointing."
If weeping is not permitted in the playoffs, it seems someone did not get the memo.
"When you play this kind of game, you're always ready to go into the game," said Kirilenko, disappointment oozing in his damp eyes. "Especially playoffs, especially (when) intensity of the game is really high and you expect yourself to play. But you can't control everything."
Equally frustrated these days with his inability to command Kirilenko's play — and perhaps even his feelings — is Jazz coach Jerry Sloan, who expressed as much Sunday.
"I know it's very uncomfortable for him. It's very uncomfortable for me," Sloan said. "I'm not happy with it, but I don't know how to handle it. I'm not equipped."
So went the post-Game 1 meltdown for the Jazz, who were torched by the Rockets as McGrady and center Yao Ming combined for 51 of Houston's points Saturday.
Asked if he could have done anything to slow the flow from McGrady, who ignited a game-changing 18-4 Rockets run that began just as Utah's starting small forward from Russia exited in the third quarter, Kirilenko was quite candid.
"I don't know. He's a great player, and everybody knows that," he said. "I mean, on him, off him, I think I can be a much better contributor — on the floor. ... I think I can be valuable for the team — on the court."
Not, it went unsaid, off.
Asked if he thinks things will change for tonight's Game 2 in the best-of-seven series, Kirilenko — who left when Utah was up 49-41, and did not return until his backup, Matt Harpring, fouled out with seven seconds to go — shrugged from a seat on the very same bench upon which he was perched the night before.
"I don't know," he said. "I'm not responsible for this aspect.
"I don't know what I can do about it," added Kirilenko, who was yanked from the Jazz lineup after missing a 9-foot turnaround jumper on a possession that ended with Utah committing a 24-second clock violation. "I'm not responsible for the time on the floor."
The man who is sat on a chair clear across the Toyota Center court from Kirilenko following Utah's Sunday morning practice.
There, Sloan made it clear he had no plans to console his flustered forward in any touchy-feely sort of way.
"You can tell guys they've got to play. That's up to them. They have to go play," he said. "I can't handle that stuff for them."
Sloan made no bones about why he did not go back to Kirilenko, even after McGrady had capped off a personal 16-point third quarter by knocking down a 21-foot jumper and a 3-pointer in the period's final 41 seconds.
Utah needed to make up points in the fourth quarter, and Sloan evidently did not think Kirilenko could make a positive impact on the offensive end.
"The reason why I didn't: Andrei, he's got to make some shots," Sloan said. "They were dropping off of him and not even guarding him when he was on the floor. So, what am I giving up? And what am I gaining?
"I thought Matt Harpring played pretty well," the Jazz coach added with regard to the veteran reserve who finished with 14 points on 7-of-14 field shooting. "I mean, what am I going to do? Take him out? I felt like I had to have him on the floor."
Another option might have been to stay with Harpring and spell starting shooting guard Derek Fisher with Kirilenko.
Sloan, though, made it known he was dissuaded from doing that based in large part on Kirilenko's play earlier in the game — on both ends.
"All I see is the results when you're playing," he said. "You've got to have something happen."
Kirilenko — known as a hustle player capable of changing a game with his energetic play — wound up with one block, one steal, one rebound, one assist and two points on 1-of-3 field shooting with two missed free throws in his 16 minutes Saturday.
That wasn't anywhere near good enough for Sloan, who also made it understood he did not go into the night necessarily planning on having Kirilenko sit so long.
"No," he said, "I've got to play on emotions that I see in the game."
Sloan went on to say he'll be counting on Kirilenko tonight.
"That's just one game," he said, adding Kirilenko may even open as McGrady's chief defender. "If he comes out and plays and gets himself involved in the game a little bit more, then that's just part of it.
"I'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings or anything. My job is to win. And the way you do that is have everybody play hard and play well. You know, we can't do it any other way. We need Andrei's play."
"Heaven only knows how bad we need him to compete and play," Sloan added. "He's struggled a little bit all year long with what we've done. And I think he'd like to get more shots at the basket. But when they're dropping off of him and he's got the ball, he either shoots it or passes. And I don't have a problem. If he makes some shots, fine. If he doesn't, I can't do much about that. I can't shoot it for him."
Instead, what Sloan does is decide who he thinks offers the best shot at notching a victory.
"If (any player) can help me win, I don't care whether he likes me or I like him or not," he said. "I like one thing, and that's to win. I don't like the taste of defeat at all. Never have. ... I'll tell you that right now.
"And," Sloan added, "if there is a responsibility I have, I'd try to do it a little bit better; I'd try to work a little bit harder, rather than feel sorry for myself."
That's a memo that may or may not reach its apparent intended recipient.
If Kirilenko does get it, though, it probably won't be because it was heard while speaking directly with Sloan.
Not now.
Not during the playoffs.
"I hate to talk to Coach Sloan yesterday or today," Kirilenko said. "But I did talk to him in the season. So, nothing changed.
"It is frustrating. Everybody is supporting me, but they cannot do anything about it," he added. "I mean, it is frustrating to lose the game. It doesn't matter McGrady made shot, or Yao (Ming) made shot — it's just tough to sit on the bench and watch it and see how we lose it."
Kirilenko's Game 1 numbers
Minutes — 16
Points — 2
Rebounds — 1
Assists — 1
Steals — 1
E-mail: tbuckley@desnews.com