PROVO — Whatever their personal circumstances, LDS women have a common belief in life before mortality and an individual life "mission" they must find and fulfill by drawing on the power of heaven.
That's the central message of scores of workshops that began Thursday and continue today at the annual Women's Conference at Brigham Young University. Braving spring rains and traffic jams that stretched for miles around the campus, thousands of LDS women gathered for the opening day of the annual event, which focuses on the biblical pronouncement to Esther, "Thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this."
Wendy Watson Nelson, wife of Elder Russell M. Nelson of the LDS Church's Quorum of the Twelve, encouraged women to seek more deeply the will of the Lord in determining how they can fill their life mission so they can be prepared to serve in unexpected ways.
She told of being seriously injured when she did an early morning "face-plant" at the Rochester airport in 2005 as she and her friend Sheri Dew — former counselor in the Relief Society General presidency — were returning to Salt Lake City.
Bleeding profusely and with no one close by to help, she asked Dew to pray for her. "Without hesitating, she knelt on pavement next to me and began to plead with the Lord. She prayed with power and petitioned the Lord to stop my fear, the bleeding and the pain.
"She pleaded to know what she should do to take care of me." When she finished, Nelson said her fear evaporated, the bleeding slowed and her pain diminished significantly. Paramedics were called and bandaged her face before the women boarded their flight.
During a layover, Dew called ahead for a plastic surgeon and upon arriving in Salt Lake City, they went directly to LDS Hospital, where Nelson was taken into surgery and got "well over 300 stitches."
Her friend's spiritual "skill and understanding" to summon help from God, as well as the inspiration to arrange for the right medical treatment, made her "the right person to be with me," Nelson said.
Such preparation is vital for LDS women, who often can't anticipate how the Lord will use them to serve others in unexpected, and often unrecognized, ways. Premortal abilities and assignments were given to each woman, she said, and God expects them to listen to spiritual promptings in order to accomplish his work.
"That may mean your spirit is restless ... were you born to do something different or more than what you are presently doing? Does it mean you need to make a dramatic change? It may. Or it may not."
The key to finding out is "increasing impeccable obedience," she said.
The wives of three BYU athletic officials echoed Nelson's call for faithfulness, sharing stories of finding how to play their own supporting roles in the shadow of their high-profile husbands.
Cheryl Rose, wife of basketball coach Dave Rose, said her reaction just before the April 2005 announcement of her husband's new job was to head for the mall to buy 4-inch heels to wear at the press conference.
She thought, "No other coach's wife has ever worn shoes like these. This is a new era in BYU basketball and they'll show everyone I'm different." Walking the long underground tunnel toward the stadium, she realized why no other coach's wife had worn such shoes.
As reporters gathered around her husband, "I was left standing painfully alone in my new shoes wondering what my role was and how I would do it." Then Greg Hill, a reporter with the Church News, asked her about the possibilities she would have to serve due to her husband's new assignment.
"I realized he'd helped me figure out my purpose and role. It wasn't about the shoes but the opportunity I had to open my heart and bless others with my service. ... I know every day I need to pray for an open heart. It's amazing what a difference that makes" in how she treats others, she said.
Holly Mendenhall said her husband, Bronco, was hesitant earlier in their marriage when she insisted the family take time for a yearly vacation together. Eager to incorporate the theme that "no success is worth failure in the home," she planned outings that, at times, conflicted with his schedule.
"It didn't always work out, but he has always thanked me even though he was resistant initially. To see him relax and get away to reconnect with the family — now he's the one asking where are we going next."
They don't watch television in their home, she said, and they even ignore phone calls when her husband has rare time at home. She tries to keep her sons in touch with their dad, organizing speaker phone calls with him as they eat breakfast each morning and guarding the family time they do have together.
She encouraged women to "take time for your self every day. We do so much for others, sometimes we don't take time for ourselves."
Lori Holmoe's husband, Tom, is BYU's athletic director but played and coached professional football before taking that position. The one holiday she knew she could count on having him home was Mother's Day.
When he asked what she wanted to do, she chose to have him and their children accompany her on long walks around the Oakland Temple. Since he was not a Latter-day Saint earlier in their marriage, the walks gave her a chance to talk about her dreams for their family and future, she said.
After he joined the LDS Church, he was often asked to speak to youths, including the night their son was injured in a bike accident. She called to have him meet her at the emergency room, but found her bishop waiting there instead.
"I learned that day my role as a young mother was to be strong and take care of my family. Part of that meant learning to share my husband with others and letting him do whatever he needed to do. I learned to be less dependent on him" and more on her own ability, she said.
E-mail: carrie@desnews.com