There really is no good reason for Don Cheadle to be in "Hotel for Dogs," unless perhaps he's somehow contractually obliged to appear in every movie that features the word "hotel" in its title.
(After all, Cheadle did receive a Best Actor Academy Award nomination for his performance in the 2004 drama "Hotel Rwanda," which was an infinitely better film than this howler of a kiddie comedy. No lie. Look it up.)
In any case, he's about the only thing this particular movie has going for it, aside from a few scene-stealing pooches. It's story-thin nonsense that trots out every canine comedy cliche, including tasteless jokes about dog doo and fire hydrants.
And at 100 minutes, it has the unfortunate tendency to keep yapping long past the point at which it should have shut up.
Television actors Emma Roberts and Jake T. Austin star as Andi and Bruce, two siblings who have been shunted from one foster home to the next.
Most recently, they've landed in the home of Lois and Carl Scudder (Lisa Kudrow and Kevin Dillon, both painfully unfunny), would-be rock musicians who have no idea how to feed, house or treat their two young charges.
About the only constant in Andi and Bruce's life is their pet pooch, Friday. But they have to keep him hidden from Lois and Carl, who aren't exactly dog people.
The mischievous Friday does find a new place to hide, though. It's a run-down old hotel nearby that already has two stray dogs living in it. Andi and Bruce resolve to take care of those two as well. But the number of canine "guests" in the hotel keeps growing.
Fortunately, the ranks of their human "hosts" have grown, too, since two pet-store employees (Johnny Simmons and Kyla Pratt) and another youth (Troy Gentile) are keeping the "hotel" staffed as well.
To say that the script (courtesy of three credited screenwriters) is predictable is putting it mildly. And first-time filmmaker Thor Freudenthal (is that an alias?) simply lets the canine performers run wild.
Oh, and Cheadle? He shows up from time to time as a sympathetic social worker. He's much too good for this material — no much how much the producers paid him for his services.
"Hotel for Dogs" is rated PG and features vulgar humor (scatological sight gags abound and references to canine flatulence), comic violence (slapstick and dog misbehavior, including attacks), scattered mild profanity (mostly religiously based) and brief nude imagery (glimpses of statues, as well as brief partial male nudity). Running time: 100 minutes.
E-mail: jeff@desnews.com