I sit at my desk this beautiful spring morning and can hear the rattling in my chest; it sounds like an old-fashioned percolated coffee pot just barely beginning to boil, and even I know this is not a good thing. I cannot go to the doctor, though, because I have been ill for a week now and have already made one unplanned visit to her. I am already taking antibiotics, and in fact missed four full days of work. To go back is not an option. Instead, I faithfully take the pills and drink Echinacea Tea and use my asthmatic son's nebulizer. I drink water by the gallon, because there is no longer juice in the house — two of the kids were ill as well — and hope and pray that I will just simply get over this in time.
I am lucky in that I do have some paid time off where I work; I am allowed to use vacation and/or sick time for whatever I need to for, which is a blessing. However, it is only March, and already I have used up half of my allotted vacation time for the year, as well as all available sick time.
What I DON'T have is insurance, nor any kind of a cushion for when things like this happen. A morning at the doctor's office, including prescriptions, ran close to $70.00-and this doesn't include the $95 I will be billed for the Strep screen which came back negative. Add to that the additional groceries/over the counter meds needed for sick people and there went my budget for the rest of the month. Now, a full week until payday, I have slightly less than $30.00 split between savings and checking. We have a turkey in the freezer, and a couple of ice packs, and a half dozen eggs. I used the last of my flour last night to make pancakes, so that cheap option is out. We have peanut butter and cheese, but no bread, and lots and lots of rice. This is what happens when single moms get sick. There is no leeway in the budget for unplanned illnesses, no extra in the bank for things like orange juice or Ibuprofen. We don't buy Popsicles and haven't had yogurt in the house for months-too expensive, but when three of the five can't swallow without tears welling up, what choice is there? In one fell swoop, I don't know how I am going to feed the five of us for the next full week, plus buy gas.
This is why I sit here, still not feeling at all well but knowing I have to be here. I have missed too many days already, and in addition to simply not having the money to pay for a doctor visit and more drugs, I also have to weigh carefully the remaining days I have left in my Vacation Bank. There are still nine months left in the year, so in those nine months I can only miss 5 more days of work. Subtract at least two for an upcoming court trial where my daughter and I will both be called as witnesses, that leaves three days split between the nine months and please God, don't sneeze on me, cough on me, or forget to wash your hands after you use the toilet; I can't get sick again.
I have heard a lot of people in our rural little area complain about the Obama/Biden Health Care Plan, and as well there has been little support in this very red state for such things as the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act or any similar bill that just might make it possible for parents-single or not-to take time off without causing harm to their families. I want to scream out loud at these dissenters to please just come live my life for a day. Please come into my home and tell me that I neither need nor deserve any help from anyone, government or otherwise when I am trying desperately to raise four children with no help from their other parent while also having my check garnished by a creditor of my ex-husband. Sit in my living room and listen to the rattling in my lungs and tell me that my health isn't important, that it doesn't matter whether I am one of the millions of uninsured in the world and that perhaps if I were a better (meaning richer) person I could have access to all the health care I need.
I don't pretend to be an expert on the economy or the health care reform issue or, really, anything. I don't have the solution. I know that I am labeled a screaming Liberal for thinking that affordable health care for EVERYONE is a perfectly acceptable goal, and am accused of wanting to turn our country into a Socialist nation. Maybe I DO want that; while Universal Health Care is not by any means perfect, it seems like a reasonable solution to me. I understand that there are billions of dollars involveded no matter what face the health care reform might ultimately show, and I also know there is no way to make everyone happy. However, I can't really say as I care that much if the Elite of our nation don't like the idea of having competition and perhaps losing a small little trickle of their millions of dollars of income. What I care about is the fact that my family's livelihood depends on whether or not I am able to get up and go to work. I care that because I was ill for a week and uninsured, food was literally taken out of my kids' mouths to pay for the additional costs incurred. I care deeply about the fact that after buying milk, bread, and eggs last night, I am down to $20 for the next 7 days.
So I will go home tonight and drink more water, rest as much as I can, take a steamy shower. I will slather Vicks on my chest and feet, and try to be in bed by at least 11:00. I will pretend not to see the questions in my kids' eyes when they wonder why I won't let them drink the milk because we need it the most for the toddler, and I will hope and pray that someday, this will all change.
This is an original post from the Rocky Mountain Moms Blog, www.rockymountainmomsblog.com. When not fixing all of the nations problems here, Kori can also be seen trying to save the world at See Kori Rant (korij.blogspot.com). Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.