Pregnancy brings with it feelings of uncertainty about an inevitable change about to happen. Many parents are worried about how their current child will react to the new baby and by the time the third trimester is upon them, they are already seeing behavior changes within their current child. Being able to anticipate and respond to your child's feelings during pregnancy will lay the foundation to a more positive homecoming when the baby does arrive.
Tactile children will notice the things mom can no longer do, like play soccer or get down easily on the floor ad may get upset when Mom talks about the baby kicking — nobody kicks their Mom! Showing them pictures from a book and letting them feel your tummy when the baby is kicking, will let them know it's OK and doesn't hurt. As tactile children learn though doing, it's a good idea to get them a doll to practice how to be with a new baby. Teach them how to (or not to) hold it and how and when to be quiet. Then you can play act the likely changes so that when the real baby comes both you of you will know what to expect.
Auditory children can become annoyed at all the talk about the new baby and begin to feel left out and threatened by what is to come. Always allow them to talk to you about it, ask them what they think the baby will like, where the crib should go and have them know that they are just as important as always and how much you will need them to help. Newborn babies start to hear at least 12 weeks before birth, so having your little one sing and talk to their sibling through your tummy will help them feel more connected to the whole experience. Let them pick out a special musical toy to give the baby when it does come.
Visual children will take particular notice of Mom's growing belly — but also the other changes in her appearance — and may get alarmed or upset at how different she is looking. Showing them before and after photos of when she was pregnant with them will help them know you will look like mommy again. Doing arts and crafts together will help them show you feelings about the up and coming event you might not have realized and try to include them in the visual planning for the baby. Let them pick out the onesies, bassinet, bedclothes for example, so they feel they have some input into what's about to happen.
Taste and smell children are very sensitive to emotions, especially those of their Mom. Hormonal changes can make Mom's emotional and a little haphazard. This can make an already sensitive child, more so. When this happens try to explain that it is not theirs or the babies fault, it's just the body being tired because it's making a little brother or sister. Keep your 'one on one' time special and allow them to play act what its going to be like to have a sibling through imaginary play with dolls and teddy bears. They may want to discuss with you what the baby is feeling, if this is the case be genuine in your interest as often their own concerns will be echoed in their concern for the baby and you.
Young children are often more aware of things than we would like to think, but they are unable to express their concerns. By being aware of your child's dominant sense you, as a parent, will be able to have more of an idea of how to help your child through the transition of pregnancy to birth.
Priscilla J. Dunstan is a child and parenting behavior expert and consultant and the author of Child Sense. Learn more about Priscilla and her parenting discoveries at www.childsense.com (c) 2010, Priscilla J. Dunstan. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.