Editor's note: This column was previously published on the blog theherowithinu.com.
This may be a pretty big assumption, but let’s make it anyway: We will have times where we face major adversity in our lives. This adversity can come as a result of losing one’s job, the death of a family member, financial shortfalls, marriage problems, a teenager who makes a wrong choice and thousands of others ways.
We have also probably all heard that we need to be strong during those times. Well, guess what? It’s true.
Here is a quick analogy that may just help bring this point home: “If it’s good for you, it probably doesn’t taste good.” Now, this is not 100 percent true, but stay with me on this.
Let’s say it does not taste good but it does make you healthier, it does give you energy to exercise, it does provide the right nutrients to help your muscles recover, and so on. So what is actually happening is, while we me be “forcing” ourselves to eat this “healthy food” (adversity), we are actually providing much-needed strength to our body (spiritual, physical, mental and/or emotional).
The ability to find strength in times of adversity is so critical, but how does one go about doing it? Here are some quick ways to help do just that:
1. Take a step back and see the bigger picture. Too many times when adversity or a challenge or trial enters our life, we react in ways that can often make things worse. We allow ourselves to get so wrapped up in the situation that it is difficult to see even an inch in front of us.
In order to see the bigger picture, you must be able to do your best to take a step back. This may be as simple as just sitting in peace and trying to let your emotions subside. It could be that you ask someone to help you see the bigger picture. Your ability to do this will give you a much clearer perspective on what is happening. Although it may not make it easier per se, it will give you the strength to know what steps to you should take.
2. Be positive. There is a difference between being positive and being happy. Being positive means you are focused on seeing the good in things and pushing forward. Being positive means you refuse to sit and talk about all the bad things that led to this specific trial or adversity. Being positive means you put into action a plan to make things better. In times of adversity the storm of negativity, anxiety, sadness, depression, anger and many other feelings that can bring us down can be extremely strong. If we try our hardest to be as positive as possible during these times, it helps build our character, strengthen our resolve to overcome, and sets a great example for others.
3. Find a go-to partner. No matter how much pride you may have, having someone you can go to will really help strengthen you. The bottom line is, you will need to talk with someone. This person may be different based on the type of challenge, but be sure you have a trusted person you can speak with. These people can help you channel your energy in the right direction; they can provide a listening ear and a hug when needed and help you see things you may not be seeing. Their strength can feed your strength during your time of need. The statement that there is power in numbers is especially true when we are faced with adversity in our life.
4. Note the lessons learned. Be sure and grab a pen and paper and write down your feelings. Within those writings, be sure and note what you have learned about the adversity you are facing. This can be so helpful, as there will be times in the future where you will face a similar challenge or someone you know will. These writings can be key in helping you or them through the situation. There is real strength that can come from expressing our feelings on paper. If you have not done this before, try it. You may be surprised at how making note of what you are learning or have learned can actually bring great peace and comfort. Those are feelings that bring strength.
Finding strength during times of adversity is actually a lot easier said than done. However, peace, comfort, strength and joy can come as you apply the four points above. It is important to remember that adversity is actually a normal part of life; everyone will go through it, a number of times.
As crazy as this may sound, we should be thankful for those times in our life when we are tested and have to struggle. Often during these times we are our most humble, and that is when we can learn. As we are humbled, we will find incredible inner strength.
When we feel empowered, there are no limits to what we can achieve in this life.
Seth Saunders is an executive business consultant and leadership coach. Seth has been married 18 years to his amazing wife, Amber, and is the proud father of three wonderful sons. He is passionate about helping others succeed.