“Pixels” is every gamer's greatest fantasy. Aliens have invaded, and they’ve conveniently taken the form of characters from history’s greatest video games.
Unfortunately, fantasy often falls far short of reality. As a movie experience, “Pixels” is a little like fishing the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms. Take out a couple good jokes and some computer-generated-imagery action and you’re stuck with a lot of bland, soggy filler. And the filler is what kills “Pixels.”
The premise is silly but shows some promise. Adam Sandler plays Brenner, a sad sack audio/video installer who peaked as a pre-teen video game champion back in the early 1980s. His best friend, Cooper (Kevin James), has fared better. He’s the president of the United States.
To call “Pixels” far-fetched is a little like calling the sun toasty.
In response to a space probe containing some of the era’s greatest video games, aliens arrive to wipe out the planet. One by one, wonders like the Taj Mahal are blasted into pixelated rubble by characters inspired by the games the humans sent them.
To give humanity a sporting chance, the aliens challenge the world to a series of Atari-style battles. Win, and the human race is preserved another day. Lose three “lives,” and that’s it.
When a group of Navy Seals proves inadequate at galactic Centipede, Brenner and Cooper step in to employ that hard-earned hand-eye coordination gamers have been preaching to weary parents for decades. They fill out their team with a former gamer champion named Eddie (Peter Dinklage) and Ludlow (Josh Gad), an oddball childhood friend who equates humor with screaming approximately 75 percent of his dialogue.
When the action rolls around, “Pixels” is kind of fun, and there’s plenty of nostalgia for anyone who grew up in the ’80s. But in between battles, filler scenes are packed with jokes that only connect on 10 percent of their swings, and a strange love story between Brenner and a military adviser (Michelle Monaghan) is just barely more believable than Ludlow’s relationship with a fictional video game character named Lady Lisa (Ashley Benson).
The writing and acting suggest that Sandler and Co. just showed up on set in T-shirts and flip-flops ready to have a good time. Sandler seems like a great guy who would be fun to work with, and he’s demonstrated acting chops in more serious roles. But most of “Pixels” feels like it was created on the fly then turned over to the effects team.
Seasoned supporting actors like Brian Cox try to sell their incredulous dialogue but can’t quite fit into a story that needed a few more rewrites. Even the absurdity of James as president could have worked. But no one really seems like they’re trying.
In better hands, “Pixels” could have been a good movie. But veteran director Chris Columbus can’t keep this one respectable. You can make the argument that the dumbed-down humor is meant for a younger audience, but the adult audience that will appreciate all the 1980s pop culture references will know better.
Bottom line, “Pixels” just doesn’t compute.
“Pixels” is rated PG-13 for action violence, profanity and some mild sexual content.
Joshua Terry is a freelance writer and photojournalist who appears weekly on "The KJZZ Movie Show" and also teaches English composition for Salt Lake Community College. Find him online at facebook.com/joshterryreviews.