It’s been said that America doesn’t have royalty, it has celebrities, and none are more celebrated right now than Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, who announced their engagement this week to the delight of the world — and the legal community.
Speculation is rampant that a prenuptial agreement is forthcoming, or maybe even already drafted, given the estimated net worth of the bride ($1.6 billion) and the groom ($90 million). Some attorneys are making suggestions on social media about what such an agreement would look like. The American Bar Association is even weighing in.
In another era, such a document might be seen as evidence that the relationship is already on shaky ground. Why would a couple about to vow “until death do us part” need to contemplate what will happen if they split up? Whatever happened to “divorce is not an option”?
As Russell Moore, editor-in-chief of Christianity Today, wrote back in 2009: “A couple that begins preparing for the possibility of divorce is headed toward it.”
But even proponents of lifelong marriage say there are circumstances in which a prenup makes sense, if done in the right spirit and for the right reasons.
Talk-show host Dave Ramsey, who encourages couples to combine their assets when they get married, has said that he used to be against prenups, but now sees their value in some circumstances.
“I used to say if you don’t love the person more than your money, then you shouldn’t get married,” he told a caller on his talk show. “And I changed that after about a decade of coaching people, because where I ran into extreme wealth ... I found not that the person that you’re marrying is usually the problem, but if you don’t have a prenup as a boundary, the crazy people in their family come out of the woodwork.”
Similarly, the Focus on the Family ministry says on its website, “a prenuptial agreement could be a wise way to avoid future financial and legal headaches, particularly where extended family is involved.”
How a prenup can be ‘marriage friendly’
Laurie Israel, a Massachusetts attorney who specializes in mediation and prenuptial agreements, believes that the collaboration involved in preparing a prenup can benefit the marriage.
In an interview, Israel, the author of “The Marriage-Friendly Prenup“ among other books, offered advice for Swift and Kelce, who are both 35 years old and have never been married.
They both have plenty of money — so much that at some point they will likely have to give much of it away. “If they keep it all separate and don’t share money at all, I think it will weaken their marriage,” she said.
So Israel recommends what she calls a “snapshot” prenup. She describes it this way on her blog, when looking at the case of LA Rams quarterback Matthew Stafford and his wife, Kelly.
“At the time of the marriage, a ‘snapshot’ is calculated of all the asset values of the premarital property. This amount becomes the separate property of the spouse who owns it. But any gain in this property, plus all other property accumulated during the marriage, will constitute marital property (called ‘community property’ in California and the several other community property states).”
In other words, Swift would own her $1.6 billion, Kelce his $90 million, and everything else they earn within the marriage would become their money together — what the court calls “marital” or “community” property if a division should ever be necessary.
“If they don’t share money, they’re going to lose a lot of the connection of a marriage, I think,” Israel said. “If they stay married, they’re probably going to give away money and start foundations and they can do that together. They’ll be partners in each other’s careers and everything else. Marriage is so much more than money.”
Israel said a good prenup should also encompass estate planning for when either the wife or husband dies, and stipulate that if the marriage fails, the couple doesn’t go to court, but instead goes through mediation and collaborative law to end the marriage and then, if needed, binding arbitration, which is confidential, quicker and less expensive than a court-ordered divorce.
Mediators should also be used to start a prenup, she said, because done poorly, and in an adversarial manner, prenups can destroy a relationship.
“I’ve seen it happen over and over again. I’ve had people come to see me because they broke up their engagement because of (a prenup), and now they want to try again.
“Prenups can be very dangerous. Partly it’s the process — two attorneys duking it out, usually not caring about the marriage, but caring about money and getting the best deal for their clients and having the other person give up as much as possible. That’s not a good way to start your marriage,” she said.
“And what’s in the prenup can be very problematic, too,” she added.
Good reasons to get a prenup
Alan J. Hawkins, manager of the Utah Marriage Commission and a proponent of premarital education for couples, believes prenuptial agreements are generally a good thing, so long as couples are also taking steps to help ensure their marriage’s longevity.
“If you’re prepping for potential failure, are you also prepping for success? Are you doing those things up front that will minimize the chance that problems will occur that might get you thinking about divorce?” he said.
Prenups can be especially useful when people are getting married later in life and have situations such as remarriages and blended families, he added.
“I can get on the pro-prenup bandwagon pretty easily when you think about all of the later-life couples who are choosing not to marry because they don’t want to deal with the legal hassles of what marriage implies, and finances and inheritances, all those kinds of things. So I say hip-hip-hooray for prenups,” he said.
Why do we care about Taylor Swift’s prenup?
Because prenuptial agreements governing the famous and wealthy are typically sealed, details are hard to come by, and reporting on them is peppered with words like “reportedly” and “rumors.” Even the existence of prenups are rarely confirmed.
When the American Bar Association website published an article on celebrity prenups, it included Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan in the list of couples, while saying “there is no confirmation that they signed a prenup.” There was an astounding amount of speculation, however. The Reuters article on their wedding was headlined “Zuckerberg weds longtime girlfriend, no word on prenup” — as if we were owed it.
In fact, these sorts of details are none of our business, just like we didn’t need to know of the engagement the day it happened. (Kelce actually proposed two weeks ago, as it turns out, which is nice — the couple deserves whatever space they can carve out for themselves.)
Writing for the Free Press, Will Rahn confessed that he had zero interest in either Swift or Kelce until he was compelled, for professional reasons, to watch the Kelce brothers’ podcast in which Swift appeared. He emerged from it smitten, writing, "Gosh, I thought. I think I like these people."
He later went on to say, “They seem fun and, against all odds, relatable. And if they aren’t really in love— as the haters claimed when they first got together — they’re doing a tremendous job pretending otherwise."
Talk of a prenup goes against this happy grain, as seen on Fox News when Jonathan Hunt brought the subject up and was effectively silenced by the anchors. He apologized, saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to harsh the vibes. It’s the news America needs.”
It is indeed. And if a marriage-friendly prenup can help keep the happy couple together, we’ll all be the better for it.