In August, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued a landmark advisory on parental mental well-being. The report highlighted unprecedented levels of stress among parents and caregivers, driven by work-life imbalances, societal pressures and economic uncertainties. This advisory sparked a national conversation about the need for systemic change and stronger community support for families.
The intensity of modern parenting may be impacting the decision of young people to have children. According to a February 2024 Pew Research Center poll, 30% of 18- to 34-year-olds without kids aren’t sure they want to have children — an increase compared to earlier surveys among those who said they “were not likely at all” to have children. Emily Oster’s new podcast tackled perhaps the most significant question on the mind of many, including the economists studying declining fertility rates: should you have children at all?
Meanwhile, buzzworthy book releases by authors like Jonathan Haidt and Abigail Shrier renewed conversations about fostering emotional resilience in children, and offered parents insights into how they can help their kids thrive in an increasingly complex world.
So what challenges defined parenting in 2024, and how can parents navigate these challenges better in the coming year? Here’s what people at the forefront of the conversation said.
Regulating technology use
One of the biggest challenges for parents in 2024 was managing children’s screen time while fostering interpersonal skills. As technology increasingly dominates everyday life — whether in education, entertainment or social interactions — parents have struggled to strike a balance. School absenteeism has surged to unprecedented levels, with a growing number of children and teens citing severe anxiety as the primary reason for not going to school.
The rise of AI-driven content and highly captivating platforms online has subjected children and teens to advanced algorithms specifically engineered to grab and sustain their attention, according Rachel Marmor, mental health counselor and chief wellness officer at the PAIRS Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to relationship education. She also noted parents wrestling with the blurry lines between productive and harmful tech use.
“While digital tools are vital for learning and development, distinguishing between constructive and detrimental screen time became harder for parents,” she said in response to questions from Deseret.
Jonathan Haidt’s book “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness” has underscored the correlation between the rise of smartphones and social media and the increase in mental health issues among adolescents. Haidt argues that the shift from a play-based to a phone-based childhood has led to higher rates of anxiety, depression and self-harm among teens, particularly those born after 1995. Haidt identifies factors such as social deprivation, sleep disruption, fragmented attention and addiction as key contributors to this mental health crisis.
“Once young people began carrying the entire internet in their pockets, available to them day and night, it altered their daily experiences and developmental pathways across the board,” Haidt wrote for The Atlantic. “Friendship, dating, sexuality, exercise, sleep, academics, politics, family dynamics, identity — all were affected. Life changed rapidly for younger children, too, as they began to get access to their parents’ smartphones and, later, got their own iPads, laptops, and even smartphones during elementary school.”
Since its publication, Haidt’s book has sparked debates among parents, educators and policymakers about the necessity of regulating children’s access to smartphones and social media. Florida, Ohio, South Carolina and Louisiana among other states have adopted laws to restrict and ban phone use in schools. Many other districts across the country are limiting smart phone use inside schools, or considering bans.
The U.S. Department of Education called on every state, district and school to adopt policies that guide the use of student personal devices in schools, and released “Planning Together: A Playbook for Student Personal Device Policies,” a guide to help create effective policies for the use of personal devices like smartphones in schools.
In support of Utah’s Devices in Public Schools bill, Elliana Crabtree, a junior at Tooele High School, wrote in a column published in the Deseret News in December: “I’ve taken measures to avoid certain platforms, yet somehow I still end up averaging three to four hours on my phone per day, which could be much better spent on more worthwhile pursuits. Yet, as I mentioned earlier, resisting the pull of technology is designed to be an uphill battle.”
Independence and resilience
When it comes to parenting approaches, helicopter parenting — characterized by restrictions aimed at shielding children from failure or discomfort — has been slowly giving way to more balanced, empowering approaches. An incident in Georgia, in which a mother was arrested for letting her 10–year-old son walk by himself into the town’s center, brought into focus another tension parents are facing: how to help children develop independence and resilience while keeping them safe.
“There’s no parent alive who knows where their kid is every single second of every single day,” said Lenore Skenazy, the author of “Free-Range Kids” and co-founder of the nonprofit Let Grow. “It’s not bad to not know where your kid is all the time, and to make it into a new normal that you must be tracking your kid is disturbing.” The organization has been helping to change neglect laws across the United States; by the end of 2024, Let Grow helped change laws in eight states, including Utah, Texas, Colorado and Virginia.
Skenazy hopes Georgia can be the next state to make a change. “We argue that the law should be that neglect equals when you put your kid in obvious and serious danger, not any time you take your eyes off of them,” Skenazy said in an interview, adding that parents don’t want to have their decisions be second-guessed by the government. “They want the government to stop abuse of children, but they don’t want to be micromanaged,” she said.
‘Take away the phone and open the door’
To foster healthier childhood development, Let Grow offers free programs for schools to make it easier and more “normal” for kids to engage in independent activities. For instance, the organization has a free curriculum for younger and older children that includes a homework assignment where kids go home and do something on their own without their parents’ supervision. “And because it’s the school that is telling parents to let their kids try this, parents do,” Skenazy said.
It’s a win win outcome, she said. “It not only feels great for the kid, it feels great for the parent because they’re so proud of their kid.” This exercise can spur a chain reaction normalizing independent behavior across neighborhoods. Another school program, Let Grow Play Club, conceptualized by Peter Gray, allows kids of all ages to play before or after school — often at a school playground — without adults intervening. Children are developing a “remarkably high order of thinking” during play, according to Gray, writing for the magazine Plough Quarterly; play helps them develop resilience, creativity and social skills.
Embedding children in stable, real-world communities is also essential as these connections are more fulfilling than online networks, according to Haidt. When introducing phones, parents should start with devices designed solely for communication, delaying smartphones until high school, along with limiting access to social media until then, he says.
But parents, eager to solve their child’s problems, should not rush to a therapist’s office because the experience may actually hurt them instead of helping them. This is what Abigail Shrier argues in her 2024 book “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up.”
In the book, Shrier, an investigative journalist, examines how over-reliance on therapy has contributed to mental health problems among children and teens. She criticizes the “one-size-fits-all” approach to therapy in schools and asserts that excessive therapy, especially in schools, can sometimes worsen symptoms, promoting rumination and reinforcing negative emotions. She advocates for a more cautious approach, where children are given opportunities for independence, set boundaries, and are taught to manage their emotions without overemphasis on therapy. Shrier told the Deseret News in an interview in April, “We need parental authority. We need high expectations. We need boundaries and rules for our kids. We need community for them. We need extended family around them. And they need independence, genuine opportunity for independence, without our help.”
Reflecting on the Georgia incident, Camilo Ortiz, a clinical psychologist, told Deseret News in November that fostering resilience in children requires them to face difficult situations, which sometimes involve a certain degree of risk. He recommends exposing children to what he calls the “4 Ds” — discomfort, distress, disappointment and danger — to help build their sense of self-worth and resilience. For example, allowing a 10-year-old to walk a mile in a generally safe area involves a manageable level of risk and provides emotional benefits. Ortiz applies this approach in his “independence therapy,” which encourages children to engage in independent activities, like walking alone or cooking a meal, to reduce anxiety and promote personal growth.
“Now is the moment when people are recognizing this is something that kids need and we can all do it together,” said Skenazy. “The way we’re putting it is: take away the phone and open the door.”
‘Focus on peace in the home’
What happens inside the home will ultimately shape the kids’ behavior outside of it.
Kenneth Ginsburg, a pediatrician specializing in adolescent medicine at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, recommends “focus on peace in the home and strengthen our families,” he said in an email.
During the past year, with the contentious presidential election, the divisive rhetoric and disagreements have seeped into households, according to Ginsburg. He has advocated for what he calls “lighthouse parenting,” a balanced approach that combines warmth, love and structure to foster resilience and confidence in children. At its core, he said, parenting is about building enduring family relationships, focusing on humanity and resilience over perfection. He suggests choosing a respectful tone in family interactions that reinforces that despite disagreements, “we all must build a better, more humane world together.”
“Be forgiving and compassionate within our homes. Be present for our children and create safe spaces where they know they are deeply loved and protected,” said Ginsburg. “Part of the safety of our home is that people can differ in our opinions, but our love for each other is never questioned.”