The other day, I sat down over lunch with a young friend who immigrated to Utah from Afghanistan five years ago. She and her husband are expecting their first child, and like any new parent, she’s been gathering advice on how to do this right.
She shared that she admires how independent American kids are and hopes to raise her child with the same spirit. But then she shared a worry that really stuck with me. It’s a fear I hear from parents and grandparents everywhere — whether their family has been in Utah for five generations or just five years. It’s the way the mobile phone constantly intrudes on our lives
She described her family members — refugees now scattered across Europe and the U.S. after fleeing the Taliban — who spend hours a day fixed to their screens. She understands why; those devices are the only tether they have to the world they lost and the people they still love. But she worries about the hidden cost. She told me, “I don’t want my child to grow up looking at the back of my phone. I want them to see me. And I want to really see them. I want my child to feel loved and understood, without a digital barrier between us.”
It was a profound observation. In our effort to stay connected to everyone “out there,” we often neglect the people right in front of us.
Gov. Spencer Cox famously shared a sentiment on social media that has since become a mantra for many Utahns: “This is your sign to log off and touch grass.” It’s a cheeky phrase, but it carries a heavy truth.
As a culture, we are “directed-attention” exhausted. We spend our days focusing on emails, alerts and schedules, which wears out the brain’s battery. When that battery is drained, we become “snippy,” impatient and prone to power struggles with our kids.
At the Utah Division of Outdoor Recreation, we spend a lot of time looking at the “why” behind getting outside. As we head into Family Connection Month — the weeks between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day — most of us are feeling a distinct digital fatigue.
We are living through a massive social experiment: the average kid gets seven hours of screen time a day but only about seven minutes of unstructured time outside. The fix isn’t complicated; it’s simple, everyday changes like a post-dinner walk or a backyard picnic that make outdoor time accessible for busy families.
Research shows that just 20 minutes in a park helps a parent and child get back “in sync” better than almost any indoor activity. When you’re on a trail, the dynamic shifts. You aren’t the boss barking orders; you’re teammates navigating a path together.
And then there is what I like to call “Cowboy TV.”
There is real science behind the campfire. Watching a fire triggers an evolutionary relaxation response that lowers blood pressure — it is naturally more hypnotic than a screen. In fact, 95% of families are less likely to check social media when there’s a fire to watch. This “shoulder-to-shoulder” environment is often the safest space for a teenager to finally open up.
In Utah, we have the best “Vitamin N” (Nature) in the world. Our state data shows that kids who get outside with their families have significantly lower rates of anxiety and depression. They’re less likely to vape and more likely to feel a sense of “awe” — that grounded feeling of being part of something much bigger than a social media feed.
I told my friend that the best parenting advice I could give wasn’t about a sleep schedule or the latest toy. It was a reminder that children belong outdoors. We don’t need a weeklong trek in the Uintas to make that work; it happens in the messy backyard picnics and the “remember when” stories that only surface when we leave the Wi-Fi behind.
If you want to build a family legacy that lasts, don’t look for it on a screen. Take the Governor’s advice: Log off. Touch grass. The trail doesn’t just lead to a view; it leads back to each other.