According to the New York Post, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce will wed on July 3 at Madison Square Garden. They have paid $3 million for their three-day nuptial celebration: one day for setup, one day for the actual marrying and the third for cleanup. Each day is costing them $1 million, on top of the cost of decor, food and flowers. Additionally, TMZ reports that the couple is having a massive stage built, which can’t be cheap.
And yeah, Taylor has a net worth of $2 billion, but a penny saved is a penny earned, and Travis and Taylor could save that $3 million if they found a different venue.
I mean, I get it. Madison Square Garden is perhaps the world’s most famous music venue, but more recently is renowned for being where the Knicks — winners of the 2026 NBA Finals — play. In fact, Taylor attended Game 4 in a custom-made fan shirt that read, “Stevie Knicks.” Which makes me think Taylor and Travis chose MSG because of their alleged love of basketball, and hope to incorporate the sport as a theme for their ceremony.
If only there were a wedding venue that doubled as a basketball court, came with ample tables, chairs, a stage, a food prep area and didn’t cost $3 million to use.
OH WAIT. THERE IS. It’s every Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints cultural hall.
So, Taylor, if you’re reading this — or, more likely Tree Paine, if you’re reading this — I’d like to invite you to find your nearest Latter-day Saint chapel using this handy tool and just have your wedding there.
Many a wedding reception has been held in a Latter-day Saint chapel, and every member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is an expert in setup and cleanup. We know exactly how to access the LifeTime plastic tables and racks of folding chairs that are located … under the stage. That’s right, Taylor, we already have a stage you can use! It’s carpeted!
I assume you have catering arranged, and I am pleased to tell you that we actually have a kitchen right across from the cultural hall where you can keep the passed apps and beverages. But it is very important that you know, THIS ROOM IS FOR WARMING AND SERVING FOOD, NOT FOR COOKING OR PREPARING FOOD. Do not let your pastry chef make the cake in there or you will get a stern warning from the stake building coordinator. There will be signs to remind you.
If you don’t have catering arranged yet, girl, we got you! Call the local Relief Society president. She’ll call the compassionate service coordinator, and she’ll create a signup sheet to pass around this Sunday’s meeting so people can volunteer to bring rolls, fruit, ham, etc. Have you tried funeral potatoes? They pair well with Sprite and sherbet.
But, Taylor, you may be asking, “What about the basketball of it all? I mean, I picked Madison Square Garden for a reason, after all.”
Boy, do I have great news for you!
Each cultural hall comes with one, sometimes two, basketball hoops, and court lines painted on the maple floors. July 3 is a Friday, which is the tail end of the member cleaning schedule, so there is a chance there will be some scuffs on the floor, but a couple good rubber-sole shoe rubs should get those right out. There’s also a chance that a group of teen boys or middle-aged dads will show up in the middle of your party and look disappointed when you tell them they can’t play church ball right then, but I promise they’ll get over it.
Maybe I’ve misunderstood you and you don’t actually want basketball as part of your nuptial aesthetic. Rest assured, those hoops are easily coverable with a well-placed balloon cluster or oversized ribbon. Then just throw a tasteful rug over the court lines and you’re good to go.
So Taylor, just let us know if you’d like a key to the chapel and let us know what time we should show up to start setting up chairs.
Or just tell Andy Reid. He knows how to reach us.