It just wouldn’t be a BYU game without a Cougar Tail.
The 15-inch maple donut — once dubbed “the glizzy of donuts” by ESPN broadcaster Robert Griffin III — has become one of the most iconic and best-selling concessions across all of college athletics since its creation in 2003.
According to Y Magazine, BYU sold an average of 8,500 Cougar Tails at each 2021 home football game. Based on BYU Dining’s nutrition information, that adds up to more than 63,000,000 calories per season. Talk about a lot of sugar.
Even with the blatant health concerns (not that that’s ever stopped this writer from partaking in the maple goodness), Cougar Tails are just as much a part of the LaVell Edwards Stadium experience as singing the fight song, witnessing a death-defying stunt from Cosmo the Cougar or seeing a bunch of bad haircuts from students in the ROC section.
I’ll never forget my first Cougar Tail. As a young freshman back in 2018, I went to a volleyball game with my buddies and was greeted by an intriguing aroma upon entering the Smith Fieldhouse.
I followed my nose to discover a freshly-baked batch of the famed donuts, purchased one and ate the entire thing in under five minutes. I then quickly left the venue before the game began, waddled straight back to my Helaman Halls dorm room and crashed into a four-hour coma. Ah, sweet memories.
Saturday will go down as a landmark occasion in Cougar Tail history, as BYU has unveiled a new vanilla iteration of the donut for the Cougars’ clash with No. 13 Kansas State.
The vanilla Cougar Tail will accompany the 1996-inspired throwback uniforms BYU is wearing against the Wildcats, all setting the stage for quite a scene at LaVell’s house.
I just tried the new vanilla Cougar Tail and feel that it’s my journalistic duty to share my thoughts.
Given the historic implications of vanilla’s debut, here is my ranking of the best Cougar Tail flavors from over the years.
5. Dark chocolate
Appearances: 2012 vs. Oregon State, 2020 vs. Western Kentucky, 2022 vs. Arkansas, 2023 vs. San Francisco (men’s basketball).
I won’t beat around the bush here. I don’t like dark chocolate at all. I apologize if this opinion offends anyone.
Thus, the dark chocolate Cougar Tail and I were never going to be friends. To be fair, I did try it on two separate occasions to see if I just had bad luck on my first taste, but nope, it left me twice disappointed.
There’s a bitterness to dark chocolate that doesn’t belong on a Cougar Tail. I applaud the ambition, but some things just weren’t meant to be.
4. Milk chocolate
Appearances: 2023 vs. Iowa State.
Perhaps the best thing to come from last November’s 45-13 beatdown of BYU at the hands of the Cyclones was the milk chocolate Cougar Tail.
Milk chocolate complements the donut base far better than dark chocolate ever did. It was a small tweak to the formula that yielded great improvement.
I just hope last November’s game result doesn’t scare anyone from bringing back this flavor again in the future.
3. Vanilla
Appearances: 2024 vs. Kansas State.
The vanilla Cougar Tail is a lot like San Antonio Spurs legend Tim Duncan: not the flashiest or most exciting, but gets the job done in a major way.
I expected vanilla to be boring or bland, and it was anything but. It has the feel of a classic glazed donut with the standard Cougar Tail taste we all know and love.
Maybe this new flavor will help pave the way of some sort of Cougar Tail ice cream creation in the future. This should be the prime reason for BYU to have all of these creameries around town. A guy can dream.
2. Regular (maple)
Appearances: pretty much every BYU home sporting event for the past two decades.
It’s hard to argue with a classic.
There’s a reason why Cougar Tails have become so beloved: they’re really, really good.
The maple frosting is exquisite. The donut itself is as fluffy and sweet as you could ever ask for.
Every aspect of the execution is flawless, aside from how sticky your fingers can get when attempting to break off a piece for someone else. Maybe such a drawback is intentional in order to discourage sharing. If true, you’ve got to respect the hustle.
Virtually nothing could possibly make a Cougar Tail better, except for...
1. Bacon
Appearances: 2023 vs. Texas Tech.
I’ll say it loud and proud.
Putting bacon on a Cougar Tail ranks among hiring LaVell Edwards, recruiting Jimmer Fredette and bringing back the 1996 throwback uniforms as one of the greatest things BYU has ever done in its nearly-150 year history. Jim Gaffigan would be proud.
Maple and bacon make for one killer combination. The quality of the bacon itself on the Cougar Tail was surprisingly solid, which proved to be the X-factor in how incredible it turned out to be.
Major kudos to BYU Dining Services for being bold enough to achieve Cougar Tail perfection by adding bacon. All of you are heroes. Now make it permanent for every game!